West (A Darkness Series Novel) Read online

  “I’m talking an orgasm so fierce they hear you two towns over. Fucked so good, it’s all you can think about, until you crave it like a drug.”

  Rez jerked in her seat, her head snapping to mine. Anger and what looked like terror blistered in her irises. I was waiting for her to yell at me. Shit, I wanted her to. Every time she got rattled and mad at me, it turned me on. And for some reason I was determined to finally break the perfect persona. I wanted to see the flaws, the true emotions.

  Her lashes lowered, and she took in a deep breath, regaining the restraint she was about to lose. Her lids opened, void of the emotion I saw earlier.

  “Wouldn’t you like to know?” Her voice was cool.

  Uh, actually I did. That was the problem.

  “And my screams were heard four towns away. At least.” She took a sip of her beer.

  Damn. Now my brain was full of tantalizing images of her. My cock strained against my pants so bad I had to shift to ease it. She smirked, noticing me adjust.

  “Well played,” I mumbled and gulped down the rest of my beer. She smiled, a mix of smugness and irritation, then motioned to the bartender for another round.

  “Martinis to stout beer.” I nodded, impressed.

  “I’m not as prissy as you make me out to be, Mr. Moseley.”

  She was still mad.

  “Prissy? Did I ever call you that?”

  “Probably many times behind my back.”

  I laughed. I couldn’t fight her on that one. “I don’t even want to know the names you called me behind my back.”

  “Some were signed.” She wiggled her fingers, causing me to laugh more. For the life of me I couldn’t picture Rez flipping anyone off. It didn’t fit her classy image, but at the same time I would love to see her do it. Make her more real.

  “Show me.” I nodded to her hand.

  “What?”

  I wrapped my fingers around her hand.

  “Show me,” I demanded.

  “You want me to flip you off? Seriously?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why?” Her cheeks reddened, and she squirmed like she was uncomfortable.

  I had no real answer. I simply wanted to see her do something out of character. “I’ll bet you’ve never flipped off anyone in your life.” My thumb rubbed at her middle finger.

  “My mother was extremely strict. I was raised to be a proper young lady. It was not something I would have ever thought of doing. Now it feels crude and inappropriate.”

  That made me only want to fuck the lady right out of her, till all she desired was crude and inappropriate. Keep it in your pants. Seriously, man. Get a grip.

  I let her hand drop. She immediately brushed them over her cargo pants, like she could wipe the unexecuted vulgar gesture off her hand. For some reason her reaction pissed me off. Get off your high horse and roll in the pigpen with me.

  We went back to drinking, going for another couple rounds. We should have been working, getting more information. Splitting up and flirting our way into more local lore, but for the life of me, I couldn’t get myself to want to. I wanted to stay here. Sitting next to her, drinking, laughing. This woman was seriously messing with my head. Or heads. Both of them.

  I switched to whiskey, my brain fuzzing. The fish and chips I ate did nothing to soak up the alcohol going down. The more I drank, the more I recalled the earlier incident. Had she gotten off to me, too? The possibility was hard to ignore. I wanted to repeat it…this time in person.

  My eyes tracked her mouth, sipping at her beer.

  “I have a theory about you, darlin’.” My brain and tongue were no longer attached.

  “Oh really? Another one?” Her eyebrows curved up as she crossed her legs, looking superior. “Please, do tell.”

  “I think like your rules, your clothes keep you safe. They’re your armor.”

  Her smile dropped.

  “I think you hide behind your designer garments and heels as a defense. No one can reach you way up on that pedestal. Untouchable…therefore no one can hurt you in return.” I leaned in closer, watching her jaw twitch, her eyes going back and forth between mine nervously the closer I got.

  Again, I felt every word I said hit a target. “I call bullshit on anyone ever making you scream loud enough to even be heard in the next room. You are too uptight to ever fully let go.” Shut up, stupid, I muttered to myself. But of course I didn’t. When did I ever listen to anything I should? “All your lists and plans are to control…” The air thickened around us. Our mouths were only a few inches apart, my voice low and taunting. “When deep down all you want is to roll in the dirt, have someone completely unhinge you.”

  Fury flashed over her features, and she lurched back, her lids tapering, jaw clenched.

  “That’s the second time tonight you have presumed to know me. Let me tell you: You. Know. Nothing.” She slid off the stool, grabbing her coat. “Don’t assume you understand me when you can’t even see the truth in yourself. We all hide. You do behind a wall of bullshit. You use jokes and taunts to make sure no one is really looking at you.” She swung around and rushed for the door.

  “Shit.” I sighed, rubbing my hand over my face. Nice job. Jumping up from the stool, I threw down money and ran after Rez. The chill of the night nipped at my skin the moment I exited the door. My eyes scanned the low-lit street, and a figure moved quickly away from the pub.

  “Rez?” I called out, jogging after her. “Hey. Stop.”

  She ignored me.

  My fingers latched on to her elbow. “Rez, please.”

  She stopped, whirling around on me. Her fingers flew up, all of them folded over accept her middle one. Rez was flipping me off. Pigs should be flying. Worse, I found it so hot. This was so twisted.

  “There. Are you happy?” Her arms fell back to her side.

  “Actually, yeah.” I nodded. “But everyone knows I’m a sick jerk.”

  She tried to fight it, but a bubble of laughter emerged from her throat. She wrapped her arms around her waist and moved to a wall of the bakery shop a few doors down from the bar and leaned against it.

  I moved squarely in front of her. “I am a dick.” I shoved my hands in my pockets. “Sorry.”

  “Yeah, you are.” She raised her chin up to me. “But it doesn’t mean you aren’t right.”

  “Wow, that’s a first.”

  A grin wobbled on her mouth. Then she took a deep breath, the humor fading.

  “My past…” She licked her lips. “Yes, there are reasons why I have the need to control everything. Present an image to the world so they don’t know the mess inside or the person I used to be.”

  A desire to keep her talking, telling me the things she hid from everyone else, locked my tongue in my mouth. If I spoke, I’d probably ruin it.

  She looked at her boots, her arms clenching her body harder. She struggled for a few more moments, appearing to debate telling me her story or not.

  “Before Lars brought me to the compound, my life was quite different.” Her hand went to her necklace, twirling it between her fingers. “I ran away from home at a young age with nothing. I was naïve, immature, beautiful, and easily manipulated and desperate for money right after I arrived in Seattle. I met a fae who ran a club. He was charismatic and charming and promised me luxuries beyond my imagination.” Rez looked to the side, her lids blinking back emotion. “Let’s say it was anything but…”

  My stomach squeezed, a sickness washing over me. Part of me didn’t want her to go on, the fury building as I thought of anyone hurting her. But I was already too far in now and needed to know it all.

  “What did he do to you?” My voice rumbled.

  She pushed herself off the wall and walked a little away, her back to me. “Nothing and everything.”

  “What does that mean?” I shoved my hands deeper into my pockets, trying to control the desire to touch her. I wanted to grab her, swing her around to face me, demand she tell me. Then kill whoever this fucker was.

&n
bsp; “He never physically touched me; that’s not what he wanted me for.” She slowly pivoted around, her attention on her boots.

  “Please explain,” I said through gritted teeth. This was her story, her painful past. So why did I feel like tearing the world apart? The beast wanted to run, shredding the night like it was toilet paper.

  “He ran a club upstairs and a seedy opium sex den downstairs.” She tugged on her necklace harder. “Most of my years there I don’t remember. He had us girls so drugged all the time I could barely recall my name. I was an addict. Nothing mattered more to me than being high. Reality was an abstract concept. Sex with whoever and how many didn’t matter. It was all a hazy dream. And the moment I felt myself coming down, I begged for more, offering whatever they wanted in return.”

  Bile burned up my throat. I didn’t dare speak, didn’t dare move.

  “That was how Lars found me.” Her voice cracked, and she wiped one eye. “Skin and bones, curled in a corner, in filthy rags, coming down from a high.”

  Holy shit. Never in a million years would I have ever guessed this was Rez’s past. This meticulous, confident, beautiful woman was once a sex slave in an opium den?

  “I don’t know what made Lars save me, what he possibly saw in me, but he picked me up and carried me out of there, bringing me home. He and Marguerite spent weeks breaking me of my addiction. It was the worst time in my life. The pain, both physical and mental, was overwhelming. But the things I did and said to get them to give me a hit were despicable. I would do whatever I could to get what I wanted. Sex, violence, pity…anything.” Rez shook her head. “I went a little crazy. Did things I can never forget.” She wagged her head, as if trying to dislodge the recollections.

  “Finally, when I started to come out the other side, I could barely live with the memories of what I did in the den. It took me a long time to feel safe and to understand Lars’s interest in me wasn’t simply another man wanting sexual favors for payment. He went out of his way to make sure I felt worthy, valued as a person, desired, but not only for sex. He put me to work, slowly giving me more and more responsibility, building me back up. He kept it professional. Never even hinted at crossing the line…to the point it made me crazy.” She scoffed, her face reflecting the memories trailing through her mind.

  “Marguerite quickly became the mother I never had. She fed and loved me without anything in return.” Rez swallowed. “That was something new to me. Unconditional love. It was years later before Lars and I started anything, and I initiated it. This man gave me everything…eventually I wanted his heart too. How do you ever repay someone for saving your life? Giving you a whole new one. An amazing one.”

  Now I understood her relationship with Lars even more. What he did for her. No wonder she was completely devoted to Lars. Gratitude and adoration were strong emotions. A deep loyalty and respect could be confused with love. Not that she didn’t love Lars.

  “What happened to the guy who ran the club?”

  “I don’t know. Lars never talked about it with me. All he told me was he shut the place down, and the guy would never be running another ‘club’ again.” She curled her fingers in quotes.

  I pinched my lips together. “What was his name?” Knowing Lars, he probably had this guy taken care of. But I needed a name just in case, so if I ever ran across him I could give him the slow, painful death he deserved.

  She rubbed her boot into the sidewalk. “Vadik.”

  “Vadik?” I repeated in shock.

  “Yes. Why?” Rez stiffened.

  I had heard of him. He was mid-level demon who tried to rise up and take Seattle from Lars in the brief time when Lars was distracted dealing with his newly acquired Dae niece, Ember. Then suddenly Vadik disappeared.

  “I know him in name only.” I folded my arms, glancing away. “There were rumors of him being spotted on the Seelie side before the war, but no proof. Most likely he’s dead.”

  I couldn’t imagine a Dark demon surviving a minute on the Light side. I knew all too well how it tore you in half. A demon wouldn’t last, but right then I wanted to bring him back to life simply to kill him again. Especially because at the mere mention of his name Rez’s eyes filled with terror. Another emotion exploded behind my ribs, not unlike a punch. A mix of feeling honored, grateful, and strangely joyous because she picked me to confide in. She trusted me with her secret.

  “Knowing Lars, I’m sure Vadik is long gone.”

  She bit her lip and nodded, a humorless laugh came from her. “Now you know why I’m a control freak. I promised myself I would never be that girl again. I’d forget my past but would move on with my new life.” She seemed to stand straighter and glanced at me. “Besides Lars and Marguerite, you are the only other person who knows.”

  “Thank you for telling me.” I took a tentative step to her and placed my hands on her upper arms. She flinched but didn’t move away as she looked down. “What you’ve done and gone through, darlin’…” One hand went to her chin, lifting her face. “It makes you even more amazing to me.”

  She inhaled, her gaze locking on mine. My eyes danced with her rich brown irises. And there it was again: the need to kiss her deeply and wrap my arms around her, protect her from the world. It consumed my body, itching and twitching every muscle to act. I wanted nothing more than to taste her lips, to fiercely take them with my own. Heat arced between our bodies and drew me closer to her. Oxygen dissipated, leaving my lungs scrambling to pump more in. A voice in my head told me to stop touching her. The rest of my body ignored me.

  Something flashed in Rez’s expression, her lashes dipped to my mouth. Desire flamed as the other beast in my pants strained against my jeans. My body leaned forward, wanting to give in to the craving.

  West, what the fuck are you doing? A voice bellowed in my head. It bore an uncanny similarity to Lars. I yanked my head back and stepped away. Shit. What the hell had I been about to do? Was I a complete bastard? Not only hitting on another man’s woman, but right after she told me the horrendous story of her past?

  I rubbed my hand through my hair. “We should get back to the hotel. We have a lot of ground to cover tomorrow.”

  Rez nodded, staring again at her feet. “Yeah. We should.”

  I pivoted toward the hotel down the street, while my dick pointed like a compass to the woman behind me. Get a hold of yourself, I chastised myself. She’s no different from the thousands of women you’ve encountered in the past. Maybe it was because this one was completely off limits.

  That’s it. My desire exists only because I can’t have her. She’s safe to want because nothing can ever come from it.

  It was the only theory I had, and I clung to it.

  The moment we walked up to the hotel, I saw what looked like the gray Saab that had been following us. My already jangled nerves twisted tighter, intuition rolling through me. I sniffed the air. Someone was watching us. I grabbed Rez’s arm.

  “What?” She started searching around, reacting to my firm grip, the way I was smelling the air. Magic was so thick all the time now it was hard to pick out a particular odor as if there were fae near.

  “We’re being watched.” I didn’t see anyone but could sense someone. “Let’s get inside.”

  She nodded, hurrying. With every step, each of my senses raised a new alarm. The lobby was empty this late at night, but it didn’t calm me. With sudden desperation to get upstairs, I took the stairs two steps at a time, and Rez padded quickly behind me.

  Dark Dwellers were programmed to detect threats, even when no one else did. An insight, like a weight scale. If everything was fine it stayed level, but the moment it changed, the scales dipped, letting us know something was off. Pinpointing exactly where the threat was coming from was harder, but I could sense it, and I wanted to tuck Rez safely in her room.

  The silence in the hallway was unnervingly alive, brimming with the tension of something just about to happen.

  We turned down the hallway to our rooms, and I halted. The
door to her room was cracked open, the smell of magic heavy in the air. I thrust my arm in the air to bar Rez from going in. She grabbed my arm.

  “Stay here,” I whispered in her ear and inched toward the door. Funny, until now I had never thought about carrying a weapon. My body had been enough. Now it was like bringing a knife to a gun fight.

  I nudged the door open, scanning every inch of the dark room. My heartbeat sped up the moment I took in the scene before me: chairs knocked over, mattress shifted off the frame, clothes flung around, and shredded paper covered the floor. The contents of Rez’s suitcase were strewn everywhere. All the documents we’d left on the table—the maps, the research from Lars—were gone.

  Shit! I stepped farther into the room, my head jerking to every dark corner. Was this the group Lil’ Mack mentioned? Others looking for the spear, using us to get all the information and sneak in and take it?

  The sound of squeaking door hinges jolted me. Air locked in my lungs as two massive men stepped out of the bathroom, their mouths stretched open with daggered teeth, and claws growing out of their mitts.

  Shape-shifters. Bears. “Huh. And here I thought Irish brown bears went extinct thousands of years ago.”

  Neither one of them spoke, their eyes vacant, as if they were robots. The shorter man, whose mouth was misshapen by a twisted scar, was the first to leap for me. The larger one curved around and blocked my escape to the door.

  The animal in me prickled, heating my insides with stabs of pain. I had fought plenty of times in human form, but when my beast sensed magic, knew its own, it wanted to frolic. Biting back the pain, I stood my ground, ready for the bears. The larger one, who had a scar from his eyebrow to his cheek, lunged for me. At the last moment, I snaked to the side, letting him bypass me as I swung for the smaller one with a missing pinkie claw.

  My fist landed in Pinkie’s face, shoving him back to the wall with barely enough time to feel Scar come back for me. I dropped to the ground, kicking my legs in a sweeping motion. He fell back on the table, breaking it with a loud crack.