West (A Darkness Series Novel) Page 11

  I had no time to think. Both came for me with determination. Punching and kicking, I fought back, knocking them as hard as they gave it to me. My fists crunched into the nose of Pinkie. He stumbled into the doorway.

  Claws slashed across my torso. I roared, whirling around to the bigger guy, whose face looked like an animal’s in its contortions. His jaw snapped, his long teeth dripping with saliva. I jumped back, ready to swing when a scream vibrated the room.

  “West! Behind you!”

  My head twisted over my shoulder, and I saw Rez by the doorway, the smaller bear between us, ready to pounce on me. He snarled, whipping around to her.

  “No!” I bellowed, but it was too late.

  Claws slashed across Rez’s body. Screams tore through the room, digging holes into my chest as he tossed her to the ground. The beast screeched inside me, and pain shredded down my body. I couldn’t shift to protect the woman I…

  “Rez!” I bellowed. Pushing through my pain, I barreled into the shape-shifter standing over her, our bodies crashing into the ground. I pummeled the back of his head and bounced it off the floor like a basketball. Fury ignited me into flames. Red was all I saw and heard as blood rushed into my ears. Then I was in the air, flying across the room. My bones crunched as I slammed into the wall and slid to the floor.

  The bigger guy snarled, his elbow pulled back, and a clawed fist crushed deep into my temple, sending me into darkness.

  I had no idea how long I was out when my lids finally lifted open, the ceiling blurry and spinning. My fingers reached up and touched my throbbing head.

  Damn. Was I just taken out by Smokey the Bear? That’s bad for the ego. Fair enough, there had been two of them, both able to shift, but still. Fuckin’ embarrassing.

  Rez… Nails tearing through her skin, her body falling. I jumped up, already searching the area where the bastard tossed her. In the dark, I saw her crumpled body, blood pooling around her, soaking the carpet.

  “Shit. Rez.” I scrambled over, dread leaking into my lungs. Please be okay. Relief at seeing her chest rise and fall eased me slightly. I rolled her over, trying to see the damage across her stomach.

  Her tattered top exposed deep, jagged cuts peeking out through the gaps. The drying blood stuck the fabric to her skin. My finger curled around the neck of her sweater, carefully splitting it open, the tattered fabric peeling away, sticky with blood. Her lacy bra had ripped away along with her sweater. Earlier today I would have given anything to see her like this. But all I saw now was blood and gaping flesh, her lungs fluttering to catch air.

  I was up and in the bathroom before I could register anything. On autopilot, I wet a towel and rushed back to the room.

  I halted when I peered at her sprawled form on the floor. Her head lolled to the side, her hair haloed around her, top ripped, and chest to hip gouged with claw marks. Blood everywhere. All my organs felt like someone put them in a blender, and they threatened to rise back up my throat.

  Sinking back on my knees, I carefully cleaned away the blood. I knew she would be all right. She would heal, but knowing it wasn’t the same as feeling it.

  “That’s it. You’re done,” I whispered hoarsely to her. “I won’t allow you to get hurt again. I can’t protect you like I should.” The agony of my failure was my own private hell. The dweller could have fought them without even trying. And I had no doubt I would have eventually won against them in human form. But the sight of her, bloody and nearly lifeless, had crippled me.

  I was searching for a reason to send her home. Now I had it. But now that I did, my chest clenched at the idea of her going. Leaving me.

  I finished washing her other cuts and grabbed the easiest thing to dress her in. My hoodie engulfed her, making her appear smaller and more fragile, but she wasn’t. I knew she was tough as nails, but I still wanted to shield her from any more abuse and pain.

  Packing what was left of her stuff, I zipped the suitcase. With one arm, I shuffled it underneath her, picking her up. A soft moan escaped her lips as I hitched her higher.

  Somehow I got my duffle bag over my shoulder, leaving both rooms wide open and vacated as I headed for the car. I would dump it the moment I got us somewhere safe. We couldn’t have anything leading back to us. We needed to get far from here. Off the grid.

  I stepped out into the parking lot, my gaze quickly going to the space I sensed would be empty. Yep. The gray Saab was gone. We had been followed from the moment we got off the plane. I didn’t know how those humans at the first hotel worked into this, but I had no doubt they were sent to watch us. I had ignored my instincts and look what happened.

  It wasn’t going to stop me. I had to keep going, deal with Lars. But Rez? No. I didn’t want her caught up in all this. No matter how much she fought me, I was sending her home.

  No argument.

  I drove into the night, zigzagging and looping around the small country roads, making sure we weren’t being followed. I took us north to the town of Doolin, near the Cliffs of Moher, and parked the car behind an old, run-down building off the main road.

  Dawn was still hours away, and we had nowhere to go till it was light enough to figure out what the next step was. Finding an untraceable place to stay in the middle of winter was actually trickier than it would seem. Some places were closed down, and others were vacant enough so we couldn’t hide behind the hordes of tourists who ran around this area in the summer.

  The gusting wind blew over the cliffs and rocked the car. I wanted to keep the heat going for Rez but was low on gas, and I didn’t want to dump the car till we found a place to stay. Then I needed to take it far enough away to get people off our trail.

  Twisting around to check on her stretched out on the backseat, I was startled to see her dark eyes on me. “Shit, darlin’.” I shook my head. “I didn’t think you were awake.”

  Rez continued to watch me.

  “How are you feeling? You okay? Need anything?” I unbuckled my seatbelt. “You cold?” I didn’t even let her answer before I was out the door, popping open the back, scrounging my bag for my other hoodie and a sweater. The bitter wind cut through my jacket.

  “Damn, it’s cold out here.” I padded the extra clothes on top of her. “Gonna stay put here tonight. When it gets light I’ll find us a place to hide.” I was babbling, but something about the way Rez was silently tracking me made me chatter nervously. “Get some sleep. Your body needs to recover.” I tucked the clothing around her and backed away to shut the door. Fingers shot out, curling around my hand, stopping me.

  My chest locked when her eyes met mine. Don’t go, they pleaded with me.

  Being close to her always led me down the wrong path. I couldn’t. It was the one rule I needed to stick to.

  “Please,” she uttered so softly the breeze almost stole it from me.

  I dipped my head in response. The need in her voice curled around my lungs, strangling the capability to talk. Tonight I couldn’t deny her solace. Who the hell are you fooling? Tonight or any other night.

  She flinched as she sat making room for me to get into the backseat, her hand clutching her stomach. I loved the way she looked in my sweatshirt. Warmth buzzed through my rib cage. When I settled in, she scooted closer, lowering herself, and laid her head on my lap.

  Oh. Hell.

  It was hard to turn off my body’s initial response to her being so close to my cock, but I shoved it back, focusing on her. Dude, stop being a fucking dick. If she needed my body as her pillow, I would do that. The idea to put down the seats and make a bed out of the back crossed my mind, but sitting here with her head on my leg was already driving me crazy. Lying with her would be far too tempting… the more uncomfortable I was, the better. Anyway, I needed to keep watch.

  A small contented sigh emerged from her, and I looked down to see my fingers absently threading through her hair and over her temple. I hadn’t even been aware I was doing it. Not good. I knew I should stop, but the blissful expression on her face impelled my finger
s to keep moving. I would do anything to keep that look on her face.

  I let go of the rights and wrongs of my actions and let myself believe I was a friend providing comfort after a frightening night. After having your guts almost fall out of your body, you deserved to be consoled. Nothing more. Keep telling yourself that, asshole.

  Another gust of wind knocked against the car and chilled the last of the warm air left. I tucked the sweaters tighter around her when I felt a violent shiver run through her.

  When fae healed, we were at our weakest. Our bodies working hard to repair and recover, we shut down and went into a deep sleep. Her body was also trying to keep itself warm, working even harder. She needed to heal and if my body heat kept her warm, then my dick was going to have to shut the hell up. I twisted, popping the seat handles, and slipped out the door.

  “West?” She lifted her head when my arms went around her.

  “Shush, darlin’.” I scooped her up in my arms, lifting her off the seat like a baby, and went around the back, opening the hatch. I placed her down, pushing down the seats, and lay her back.

  The biting air numbed my hands and face quickly as I opened our bags, grabbing every piece of clothing we had to drape over her. I quickly climbed in next to her and slammed the back shut.

  Rez curled in a ball, trembling like a paint mixer.

  “Come here, darlin’.” I moved in behind her, pulled her frame into mine, and wrapped my arms around her.

  Her head knocked into my chin and her muscles jerked, forcing me to curl farther around her like a strait jacket. I hitched a leg over hers and folded completely over, pulling her so tight against me it was like I’d consumed her. It took several minutes for the shuddering to ease, her muscles melting into my warmth.

  Being a sexual beast wasn’t always a great thing. Okay, I had never even remotely thought that before, but with Rez’s body pressed firmly against mine…yeah, I was an asshole. But my dweller didn’t seem to give a crap who she was. All it understood was the curve of her ass pressing into my dick and the incredible way she smelled and felt.

  If human boys thought puberty was rough, it was nothing compared to Dark Dwellers. I went through mine in the Otherworld before we were banned to Earth. There we were given a lot of freedom to act out and do anything. When we came to Earth, I watched Cole try to raise Eli, Cooper, and Gabby through that time and did not envy him. Earth provided far more temptations and far more trouble. Nothing horrible, but Cole was going to the police station every few days.

  I’d experienced blue balls only once in my life, and only for a few days, until Cammie realized she wanted me as much as I wanted her. And in the week of courting her, it never felt like this. This was painful. The beast clawed and knocked at my willpower so fiercely I moaned when Rez shifted into me.

  By forcing my brain to think of our next steps like a checklist, my body began to ease, and I drifted off to sleep.

  ***

  I lifted my head and recognized the room. Even though it was bare of its normal torture devices, I knew every crevice of this place. Acid sizzled in my stomach, and I would have retched, except I couldn’t move. I wasn’t even able to open my mouth to scream.

  I stood naked, invisible chains bearing down on me. This was how she liked me best.

  “I’ve missed you,” a beautiful voice said behind me, but it caused my spine to shudder, fighting against the unseen hold. “It isn’t the same without you. I’m so bored now.”

  Red hair danced in my peripheral, the curve of a woman’s body in a tight, revealing dress moved around me. Fuck. She looked so real. Nothing blurry or hazy about her. I was right back in my real-life nightmare.

  Wake up, West! Wake up.

  “Oh, love, you think you will wake up if I don’t want you to?” She let out a peal of laughter. “You know I have always been in control. Your soul is mine, dweller. You gave it over to me.” She purred, trailing her hands over my torso. “Who knew the moment I broke you you’d become such a magnificent, uninhibited beast?”

  My jaw tightened, and my lids blinked rapidly, trying to fight the onslaught of emotion. Being back here… I didn’t know if she was real and I was truly in hell, or my subconscious wanted to annihilate the last part of me trying to survive. It didn’t matter. My body shook with hatred of both her and me. “Fuck off, Aneira,” I forced the words out of my throat.

  “Oh, we did that, love, countless times,” she whispered and continued to run her hands over me. “But I am more than willing to revisit our time together. How about you?”

  “No.” My teeth barely let the word slip past my lips, anger pumping through my veins.

  “You can deny it all you want.” Aneira raised an eyebrow as she looked down at my naked body. “But you liked it. Still do, clearly. That’s what you hate the most. It’s like the ultimate dirty secret. It makes you hate yourself.” Her red lips curved in a cruel smile. “Because you feel you deserve no better. The more perverse, the more you revel in it. Punish yourself.”

  “Shut up,” I growled, fury breaking through.

  “Anything good you destroy. The poor, sweet, naïve girl.” Aneira clicked her tongue. “You ruined her.”

  Bile coated my throat and burned holes in my gut. My lungs fought the truth in shallow pulls.

  “So you can lie to yourself.” Aneira circled me, her hand running over my bare ass. “But I’m inside you.” She stood on tiptoes and nipped my ear. “I am the worst part of you. You can’t lie to me, but I am you now. You put yourself in chains a long time ago. The way I made you fuck me…scream my name… torture you…that was the first time you felt alive in a long time. Free. And once you were...wild, ravage, primal… Don’t tell me that wasn’t the truest you’ve ever felt.”

  I stared ahead, immobile against her claims, vomit rolling up from my stomach. I wanted to disappear, to no longer exist. Because I couldn’t live with this...

  The truth.

  I had felt free. For once, I had let Cammie go. All emotion or sentiment sank in the tar, leaving me vacant of everything.

  “Look at what you did to Cammie. You think you deserve someone like Rez? You’d destroy that beautiful creature and you know it. How long before you’d shatter her? Ruin and obliterate her with your demons, like the others?” Aneira leaned into me, her fingers tickling my chest. “Come join me. You belong with me…we are alike, you and I. You may cover your secrets with charm, but you are twisted like me. Let the cruel, bitter, perverted beast out.” Her hand wrapped around me, stroking me.

  Tears pricked up at the vile disgust I felt toward myself. What I’d done. I kept pretending I could escape it, that I had hope. I didn’t. Some things even a Dark fae cannot recover from.

  The same person who banned us from Earth, who tortured me on a daily basis, ripped my soul away with degrading humiliation, killed and tormented others for the fun of it, stood in front of me. The woman I hated with every fiber of my being…I fucked her.

  It started out with her dragging me to her chambers and forcing me. She batted me around like a toy. Every day she shredded me down to nothing, convincing me my true nature was vile, warped, cruel, and soulless. I let myself drown in it, welcomed it…even enjoyed it. My anger and self-loathing mounted with every encounter.

  Then I would go back to my cell with my spiked dog collar, draining me even more of myself…of life, of my will. I was close to letting her have me; my life meant nothing anymore. I wanted to be taken fully underneath and hoped to never come up again.

  Until Ember saved me.

  When she appeared at my cell with Lily, she told me not to give up, that she would get me out. The purity of her strength and belief, her forgiveness and love, gave me hope. The dweller bond we shared provided a rope for me to grab on to. I clung to the image of her face, her words, the image of my brothers.

  I fought Aneira, even when my disobedience inflicted more wrath and humiliation. I no longer let her break me. But in doing so I became a shell of myself.

&nb
sp; When I returned home, I did everything I could to forget, to push it away. I acted normal on the outside when depravity haunted me on the inside, the truth no one would understand. Hell greeted me most nights, but now hell had come back to claim me. And I wasn’t sure I could fight it again.

  Aneira smiled, caressing the fear and doubt rolling off me.

  “West?” My name came softly over the air, spreading over me like a blanket.

  Aneira stiffened, moving in front of me, filling my line of sight.

  “Are you ready, dark one?” She held out her hand. “You know you will only be truly free with me.”

  “West?” My name stirred around me, spinning my head to search for the owner. A smudge of light appeared in the corners, the walls thinned and grew transparent.

  “Dweller,” Aneira beckoned me, but I heard another call my name, circling me like a lifeline. “Come with me. Now,” Aneira demanded, her expression growing more frantic.

  “West.” My name anchored me, giving me strength.

  “No…” I snarled at Aneira. Her lids narrowed, and her violet eyes glimmered with hate. “I will never go with you.”

  ***

  With a snap and a jolt, my lids blinked open. Aneira was gone, and I was standing in a field, fully dressed, surrounded by sheep, the ocean smashing into the coastline a quarter of a mile away.

  What the hell?

  “West?”

  I swung around to the familiar voice. The cloudy dawn revealed her in shades of gray. Rez walked to me. Her body stiff, still healing itself together. “I woke and you were gone. It scared me.” She huddled in her jacket, the wind blowing her hair around.

  “Yeah. Sorry.” I stared around, my brain fuzzy and confused. My hands shook; I curled them over. Aneira felt so real…

  “Hey.” Rez tipped on her toes, putting her hand to my cheek. “Are you all right? You’re trembling.”

  The concern in her face and the worry in her voice almost made me break down and tell her. Ignoring the secret I kept only caused it to grow, flourish, and coil its way around me.