Twisted Love (Blinded Love Series Book 3) Page 12

  Pulling into his spot, I shut the car off with a frown, rubbing the steering wheel like I was saying goodbye to a good friend.

  “Come on, Ape-boy.” Still half asleep, I heaved him from the car, his arm over my shoulder, helping him up the stairs to his house, staggering and slow.

  Finally, we got to the front door, unlocked it, and stepped in. His foot hit the threshold, and he tumbled forward, taking me with him.

  “Crap.” I propelled us forward, landing on the sofa, our bodies crunching together as we landed. “Ow.” His build crushed me beneath his dead weight. “Damn, Ape-boy. You are heavier than you look.” I wiggled free, standing over him. “Okay. You’re home safe. I’m just gonna get you some water and call an Uber.”

  “No.” He reached out and clutched my wrists, his lids blinking until they slowly closed as if he could no longer fight sleep. “Stay.”

  “What?” My chest constricted, a burning sensation moved over my shoulders.

  “Stay with me,” he muttered. His protective wall fell away, and suddenly he looked like a little boy. Vulnerable and innocent.

  “O-kay,” I croaked, swallowing over the dry spot in my throat.

  He tugged me into him, moving so both of us could fit on the sofa together, my back pressed up against his frame.

  “Stevie…” he whispered, already slipping into the dreamworld. His voice was so low it was barely a breath, but I could have sworn he added, “I’m scared.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  With his body pressing into mine, his arms curled around me, his nose nuzzled into my neck, it took me a while to fall asleep. But once I relaxed, I plunged deep into slumber.

  I let my guard down. Felt peace and contentment for a moment. That was when they attacked, slinking up from my soul like shadow ghosts, peeling off the walls by the dozens, burying me under their control.

  “Just a fucking tease, aren’t you?” A voice poured into my muscles like cement. Dim lights swirled my vision. Thumping music tapped at my spine from below. My thoughts couldn’t connect, but my body instinctively felt fear.

  “Don’t be like that. I’ve heard you’ve fucked every guy here,” another voice sneered.

  I haven’t. I’ve only slept with three people in my life and two of those were boyfriends. I love to flirt and kiss. That’s it. But no words made it to my tongue. Nondescript masses moved around me. Hands touching, pulling at clothes, holding me down.

  Get off me! Don’t touch me. No. No. No. Please…don’t. The cries vibrating in my head, aching my chest, but I couldn’t seem to get anything to work, to fight back. Nothing felt real.

  Helpless.

  Petrified.

  My grief wanted to pull me back into myself, disappear from the world. But my fear is cruel. It’s keeping me hovering on the lip of consciousness.

  That world dissolved into another. Twin lights blazed into my vision. I didn’t move. The horse design on the grill. The shrill sound of a horn violent and angry, tires screeching.

  I wait for it…

  Relief.

  I bolted up. Screaming.

  Dark room. Confused. Where am I?

  “Stevie.” A man’s voice called my name, hands rubbing at my arms. “It’s okay.”

  “No. Get off me.” Panic slammed my heart against my ribs, bruising the bones. My arms lashed out at the threat, the need to run forcing a cry over my lips. “No. Please.”

  “Gyps. Stop! It’s me.” His hands cupped my face, turning me to see him. “It’s me… It’s me.”

  Peering up, awareness slowly seeped into my brain.

  Chris.

  Chris’s bedroom. The familiarity of his sheets, his hands on my face, his warmth.

  Taking a deep breath, I sank my head into his chest, wrapping my arms around him, needing an anchor to something good. Tears burned the back of my throat.

  The more I wanted to forget, the more vivid the nightmares became.

  “It’s okay. You’re safe.” His hand rubbed through my hair and down my back, rocking us slowly together.

  Pressing my lips together, I swallowed back the grief building up, letting my heartbeat quiet down.

  “Didn’t we fall asleep on the sofa?” I asked, trying to push the rubble of my wall into some sort of structure. I hated he saw me like this. Not once but twice.

  “It got a little tight, so I moved us up here,” he answered, but I could sense he wasn’t about to let what happened go. “That’s when you started screaming.”

  Shit! I inwardly grimaced.

  He allowed me to stay silent for another few minutes before he cleared his throat. “Are you going to tell me what that was about?” He leaned back, the glow from the streetlights bled through his curtains, making his features visible.

  “Just a nightmare.” I shrugged, moving away from him.

  “Stevie…” He sighed, pinching his nose.

  “What? Am I not allowed to have nightmares? Most people have a lot of them in their lifetime.”

  He groaned staring up at the ceiling. “Doesn’t it get tiring being on all the time? Lying?”

  “I don’t know, does it?” I lifted my eyebrow at him, scooting back against the pillow.

  “You were screaming…” His voice broke, his attention on the bedspread. “Did something happen? Did someone hurt you?”

  “Lots of people hurt me. But that’s life, right?”

  A deep growl hummed from his chest, his hand rolling into a fist. “You know what I mean. You-you were yelling for someone to get off, to stop touching you…”

  The terror I learned to keep at bay wheezed in my chest, my teeth crunching together to stop the flood of grief from breaking free.

  “I don’t want to talk about it.” I pulled my knees up to my chest.

  “Fuck, Stevie, the thought of anyone hurting you. It makes me want to rip this world apart.”

  “Let it go, okay?”

  “No,” he growled, scooting closer to me, his hand going to my face. “I can’t. Not when it comes to you. And not knowing…”

  “And what would you do?” I tried to move away, but he only gripped me firmer. “Don’t worry about it, Ape-boy. Nothing hurts me.”

  “Yeah, you like to pretend that.”

  “And so do you.” I meant to say it firmly, but it came out a whisper. Our eyes locked. For once, the realization of how similar we were tore down my walls before I could stop myself. “Help me forget.” I stared into his gaze, desperation hanging on every syllable. I saw no misunderstanding of what I meant in his gaze.

  His Adam’s apple bobbed, torment slicing over his face.

  “Please.” I leaned into him, my mouth brushing his. A strangled noise shook his chest as my lips grazed his with a nip. Desire washed over me so fast, my lungs stuttered for oxygen. Just touching his mouth with mine felt as if I had been starving myself for years and someone dropped a hot buttered roll on my tongue.

  “Stevie.” He tried halfheartedly to warn me to stop, but he had to know that only spurred me on. Pushing. Provoking. All things I seemed to be good at.

  “Shhh.” I inched even closer, running my hand through his hair. “Enough talking, Tarzan.” I wanted this. God, I needed this. My bones ached with need.

  Chris brusquely grabbed my face, his chest heaving as his eyes danced between mine. We stared at each other for a few seconds, desire wrapping around us like we were its prisoners. And I willingly let it take me.

  “Chris…” I breathed his name, knowing how if affected him when I said it. Like a trigger, he growled, pulling me into him.

  Our mouths crashed together. Hot and needy. I couldn’t stop my moan. The feel and taste of him was fire in my body, burning the world around us down to ashes.

  Nothing else mattered.

  Two years of being without each other only made us more desperate. Pushing me back, Chris leaned his weight on me, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He felt perfect against me, my body cheering with joy it had him back, where he belonged.


  Even if it was just for a night.

  Our mouths hungrily consumed each other, shredding the last of my sensibility, what little I had to start with. My hips rolled against him, needing to feel him. Knowing very well how he could completely shatter me.

  My fingers grasped the hem of his shirt, and I ripped it over his head. He kissed me more savagely as it found my mouth again, blazing heat through my nerves until I couldn’t breathe.

  I didn’t care.

  My hands rediscovered him, skating over his bare skin, my legs hugging him to me. But it wasn’t enough. I needed to be closer, to let the fire consume me. Disappear in it.

  My tank top hit the floor and he groaned. The top looked better without a bra, so I went without.

  “Stevie,” he breathed, he rolled his hips into me, nipping down my neck, heading for my breasts.

  “Don’t stop.” My head tipped back into the pillow. “I swear I’ll kill you.” What was the girl equivalent of blue balls?

  His chuckle vibrated against my skin. “Not a chance.”

  Nothing had felt this good in a long, long time. I’d had a lot of sex, but just kissing Chris forced me to realize how empty most of it had been. I’d been going through the motions. Satisfied, but not fulfilled. I forgot how consuming good sex could be. When you lost everything about yourself, feeling like an atom ready to explode in the world.

  Free. Truly uninhibited.

  My hands laced through his hair as his teeth nipped at my breast, heating my flesh like I truly was burning from the inside out.

  “Tarzan,” I gasped, my hands moving down to his waist, pushing at his shorts. “I’m usually all for playing…but.” I shook with need. My body acted as though it was being electrocuted. I had forgotten this level of intensity. “Foreplay later.”

  “It’s like you can read my mind.” His large hands ran down my body, gripping my hips. Lifting them up, he tugged off my shorts, tossing them on the ground. Wrapping his fingers around the sides of my underwear, he stared down, watching the scrap of cloth slowly uncover me. The fabric skating over my skin sent another wave of shivers through me.

  He heaved out a breath, his lids blinking, his eyes glazing over. Then something shifted in him. He sat back on his heels, gripping the comforter, squeezing his lids together.

  “What?”

  He didn’t respond, his knuckles going white, bowing his head.

  “Hey?” I sat up, a strange fear clenching my lungs. “What’s wrong?”

  His breath became labored. His spine curving up and down in rapid motion. His physique going rigid.

  “Chris!” I reached for him, feeling his muscles twitch under his skin.

  “I’m fine,” he finally muttered, taking several heavy breaths before he lifted his head. Beads of sweat lined his forehead.

  “What just happened?”

  “Nothing.” He tried to fully sit up and tipped to the side, catching himself. His face was white and blotched with red. He looked drained. “Must have drank more than I thought,” he muttered, rubbing his head. “Just got dizzy for a second.”

  My lids narrowed, not sure I believed him.

  “Sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry.” I licked my lips. “You just scared me.”

  “Leave it to me to get my hangover now.” He tried to laugh, but it rang pitifully false in the air.

  The unquenchable desire of a moment ago gave way to awkward uneasiness. Not to mention I was naked. Not that I was ever uncomfortable with nudity. Yet, being naked with him was too vulnerable. I leaned down to grab my tank.

  “No.” He captured my wrist, snapping my gaze to him. I was pretty open and kinky, but it felt odd to pick up again. Something had shifted.

  Without a word, Chris moved back to the top of the bed, flipping the sheet down and tugging me to follow.

  I crawled under the covers, next to him, tilting to my side. He settled in behind me, pulling me into him.

  The heat that had dissipated returned with a vengeance as I felt every inch of him pressed into me. He might still have shorts on, but they did nothing to pad the feel of him against my naked body. I held my breath, feeling need creep back in, my ass curving into him.

  “Gyps,” he rumbled. A warning.

  “What?” I bit back my smile.

  “Don’t even try to play innocent with me. I know you too well.”

  I glanced over my shoulder. His eyes were squeezed together like he was fighting a headache, sweat still dampening his forehead. He really wasn’t feeling good. “You kind of deserve it. You pounded four beers in the short time I was there.”

  “Think it was closer to six…”

  Idiot.

  “Fine.” I turned my head back around, snuggling into the soft bed. I would try to behave, but he was making it very difficult with his excitement pressing into my ass.

  He snuggled into me, our bodies fitting like puzzle pieces. “I’ve missed this.” He breathed into my ear, his arm squeezing me.

  It wasn’t until his breath evened out and he drifted off to sleep, that I replied, “Me too, Tarzan.” I laced my fingers with his, feeling the truth hit me with a punch. “Me too.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  The crack of a door opening parted my lids, gray light pressed through the curtains. Rain tapped at the window.

  Through my lashes I watched his figure strolling out of the bathroom, only a towel wrapped low around his waist, clouds of steam following him like fan girls. I didn’t move or speak, taking the moment to bask in his physique. The towel clung to his hips, showing his deep V. I had followed that trail down many times…

  His torso muscles rolled under his skin as he moved, forcing me to bite down on my lip, desire to touch him making my fingers curl. Fire ran down through my thighs. He turned his back to me, pulling his dresser open. I wanted nothing more than to stop him. Pick up where we left off, the need for him even more desperate now I had a taste again, but something kept me locked in place. Silent.

  He pulled out a pair of boxer briefs before moving to a lower drawer, snatching out some shorts and a shirt. He straightened up and grunted as he gripped the sides of the dresser, his head bowing, as if he were trying to keep himself centered. Wood groaned under his hold, his breath forced.

  His name sat on my tongue, ready to float out to him, but nothing came, chained up in my chest. He shoved off the dresser, inhaling deeply, before he started getting dressed as though nothing happened. He shot a glance over to where I lay, my lids slamming shut, like I was still asleep. The sound of a door closing told me he had left the room.

  Flattening myself on my back, I stared up at the ceiling, feeling my naked body slip between his sheets. That was the first time Chris and I had been in the same bed, one of us naked, and had only slept.

  Actually, I think it was the first time I did that with anyone. I brought people to my bed for a reason. I had never literally slept in the same bed with anyone all night without sex. Yes, technically we were heading there, but we didn’t.

  It was nice to feel his arms around me all night where we’d passed out from exhaustion.

  Not as good as he would have felt inside you.

  I groaned, scrubbing my face, my skin flaring with the idea of him crawling back to bed right now. This is when I again realized my need was like a man’s. Once it started, I needed… relief. The fantasy of him coming back in and catching me, watching me, made me leap off the bed so I wouldn’t be tempted. I would ignore what we’d almost done last night. Brush it off. The daylight meant there was no alcohol or excuse. It would be me. Him.

  I wouldn’t do that to myself again.

  Cleaning my face and teeth the best I could, I dressed, cheekily tossing my underwear into his hamper. I liked the thought of leaving something of me here to taunt him.

  Bouncing down the stairs, I spotted him in the kitchen, turning on the coffee maker.

  “Yes.” I rolled my hair up into a messy bun. “Need caffeine now.”

  “I
s there any time of the day you wouldn’t say that?” he retorted, not turning around.

  “No.” I came up beside him. “But that’s because coffee and I are soulmates. We never tire of the other and constantly need to be around each other.” I stroked the side of the coffee maker. “Don’t we, sweetie. You know our love is real.”

  Chris smirked at me. As usual he looked amazing, although paler than normal. Maybe it was the stormy day casting a grayish tint to his skin.

  “Breakfast?” He grabbed two cups from the cupboard.

  “Fried eggs and bacon? Ab-so-fucking-lutely.” I took the cup he handed me. My Tarzan cup again.

  He chuckled with a nod. “Easy enough.”

  The moment the coffee dinged, he pulled it out, pouring into my cup before his.

  “If you want food, you have to help. You know the rules.” His grin only invoked mine, both of us giving each other a knowing smile, rushing another waved of lust up my thighs. The rule was we both helped cook and clean up, but I always found ways out of it. I was not above getting out of chores any way I could. I offered up other perks. It was fun to watch him do dishes with my mouth wrapped around him. I think he broke more than he cleaned that time.

  “I’ll get the eggs and bacon.” I spun away, needing to put distance between us. It was so easy to fall back into how we used to be. Comfortable. Easy.

  I love this. Him.

  Staring inside his fridge, searching for the items, hearing him get the pans out like we were this couple that did it every day, those words descended on me like darkness, sinking in. Fear attacked my body, choking me as if it had a dozen hands.

  Not once—ever—had I stuck around and had breakfast with anyone I spent the night with. Not even the ones I saw more than once or had a sort of “relationship” with. No one. Except Chris.

  As if it was electrocuted, my heart hammered against my chest, moving up my throat as though it wanted out, blocking my air. How did I never realize he was the only one I’d ever felt this way about? I was blind when I was in it. I never noticed I didn’t want to run instantly away after. We sometimes didn’t leave each other for days and when we did, we’d find silly excuses to return and then act like it had been years since we’d last been together.