West (A Darkness Series Novel) Read online

  I hesitated, but those hazel eyes full of longing and sadness were always my undoing. I lifted my arms, taking the step to Cammie. Our fingertips almost touched.

  Then something hit me, taking me down. My head slammed against the ground. I blinked my eyes. A form sat on top of me, the glow of the moon sparkled off her long hair, her face completely hidden in the shadows of the dark night. All I could see was long blond hair, a girl riding me fiercely. It reminded me of the night we devoured each other under the night sky on the sand dunes. The air hot and sticky. The soft waves rolling onto shore.

  “You’re here.” Her skin was soft upon mine, the weight of her body solid, corporeal. My brain didn’t want to know if this was a dream. It wanted to feel peace for once. My hands went to her face, pulling her to me.

  “West. I’m—”

  “I’m so sorry. Forgive me,” I whispered, anxious to feel her lips on mine again. My lids closed, my fingers laced through her hair to the back of her head and drew her to me. My mouth took hers with rough, unrestrained need. I heard my name again, but I answered by gripping her head tighter, my mouth devouring hers. Any resistance I felt at first quickly dissolved as I crushed her tighter into me, breathing her in with every demanding kiss. My tongue prodded her mouth to open more for me. She responded in kind, deepening our already hungry mouths.

  Oh Jesus. It was better than I remembered. The beast rousing inside wanted her. Badly.

  One hand stayed in her hair, the other slid down to her hip, to her pants line, dipping below and curving around her ass. Strange. Hadn’t she been wearing a sundress? A slight moan broke from her. Hands glided through my hair, sending sensual chills throughout my body as she raked them over my scalp. Our lips were desperate, only wanting more.

  This was a dream. One I didn’t want to wake from. Nothing felt so real, so unbelievably good. The beast was going crazy. It wanted to claim. To take her. To thrust into her until we exploded and broke, like the waves against the shore.

  I took a deep breath. Another alarm curled around my mind. Cammie had smelled like lilac and jasmine. But in this dream she smelled more like a perfect evening at the beach, with a dash of sweetness, like someone making cookies in the distance. Sweet and salty. This smell twisted my beast into a fury. I enjoyed Cammie’s flowery smell, but this triggered something deep in my core. Something I wanted to fall into and never come out of again.

  I growled and flipped her on her back, crawling between her legs. My hands tore at the tie at the front of her soft pants, my mouth on her neck. Nipping.

  “Oh gods, West, we need to stop,” she whispered, but her tone was full of need, urging me to keep going.

  This was my dream. And I wanted to feel myself sink into her, even if it wasn’t real. I had been waiting much too long to feel this way again. No matter how many girls I had bedded, nothing felt like this. Electricity sizzled through my body at her touch. Her smell.

  My mouth moved down her chest, pawing at her jacket. My jacket. The symbolism only rallied the beast, which liked the small token of me on her. I unzipped the jacket, my brain sending me more reservations: a silky camisole. No bra. Cammie had not been curvy up top. She was lean and thin, and had legs for days. I didn’t mind. I loved all shapes and sizes. Women were gorgeous whatever way they came. Period.

  “I want to be inside you,” I huffed harshly, my body straining with yearning, cupping the fuller breasts.

  “West,” she breathed heavily into my ear, pulling my ass into her.

  “Cammie…” My teeth grazed up her neck.

  The moment I muttered the name, her body went tense beneath mine. “Stop.” Her hands pushed at my chest. “West, stop. Wake up.” My cheek stung and I jerked back. Shit. That felt far too painful to be a dream.

  ***

  “I’m not Cammie!”

  I blinked several times. Wavy blond hair changed into long, silky chocolate tresses, hazel eyes into brown. Rez’s face came into focus. She was propped on her elbows, half her body still beneath mine. Her pajama pants were untied showing a slip of silky underwear, her lips swollen.

  Holy. Shit. Rez.

  I scrambled to safety faster than you’d leap out of an alligator-infested river. “Oh gods.” I ran my hand over my face and turned away, taking a few steps to gain distance between me and the King’s girlfriend.

  “West. It’s okay.” Rez got to her feet. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her retying her pajama bottoms, and I cringed.

  I swung around. “Okay? It’s not anywhere near that. I kissed you…”

  “You thought I was someone else.” Her gaze slid to the side, and she folded her arms against the chronic breeze blowing over the cliff.

  I did.

  Mostly...

  “Why didn’t you stop me?” I demanded. The heat of her still clung to me.

  “I tried. You really didn’t give me much of a choice.” She shifted her weight, her hand touching her swollen bottom lip. Puffy because I kissed the shit out of her.

  I bent over, pressed my hands to my knees. Breathe, West, breathe. Whatever the premise, innocent or not, I had just stuck my tongue down the throat of the woman bedding our King. And I would have stuck other things into her, too, if she hadn’t slapped me out of my trance.

  The beast hit against the cage, wanting more. A warning rumbled in my chest, telling it to shut the fuck up and sit in the corner. It basically flipped me off.

  It’s only because I thought she was Cammie, I told myself. It was simply a mistake. Nothing more.

  “Don’t worry. It’s no big deal.” She shifted her legs again and brushed her tangled hair behind her ear. Her cheeks were flushed. She was probably lying, but I wasn’t about to push for the truth. Hiding behind a lie sounded excellent to me.

  “Already forgotten.” Another lie.

  The severe chill in the air helped clear my mind, moving me on from making out with Rez to the fact I was standing on the cliff in the middle of the night and wearing only my briefs, my cock displaying it was eager to continue.

  “What…the…hell?” I circled around, holding my arms out. “How did I get here?”

  “You were walking in your sleep again,” Rez answered. “I woke and you were gone. Again. It was lucky I found you in time.” Her gaze trailed to the edge of the cliff.

  “What? I was about to walk off it?” A chill iced the back of my neck.

  “Yes. I had to tackle you. You didn’t hear me...and you were about to go over.” She shook her head as if trying to toss out the vision.

  The image of Cammie motioning me forward, to join her, flooded back. Were my dreams trying to kill me? They started out as occasional nightmares, then grew to frequent night terrors with me waking up on the floor in cold sweats. Now my guilt was taking me over cliffs?

  I gaped for a moment at the ledge, keenly aware of the jagged rocks below. Fae were hard to kill, but it was not impossible. Actually, we were more vulnerable since the worlds merged. Those rocks would have probably ripped me into tiny pieces.

  “Thank you.” I nodded at Rez.

  “You’re welcome.” She nodded back. “Now let’s go back. I’m freezing.” She was shaking, even beneath my jacket.

  “You are?” I waved down at my mostly naked body. “You wouldn’t be a gentleman and let me have my jacket back?” I gave her a half smile.

  “Hell no. Your jacket is the only thing keeping me from hypothermia.”

  “You didn’t bring it out here for me? I’m only wearing boxers.”

  “You’re mostly beast! I think you can handle it. I’m wearing a thin camisole.” She smirked, turning for the cabin, wrapping it tighter. Devil woman. “It was the first thing I could find. You should be thankful I didn’t take the time to find mine.”

  “You mean the one hanging right by the door?” I teased, remembering her hanging it there earlier.

  “Shut up,” she muttered and picked up her pace.

  I chuckled and followed her back to the house. Truth was, I liked h
er wearing my clothes more than I would ever have admitted. But I had already made things really awkward for us.

  Nothing about this night should ever be talked about again.

  Especially the kiss.

  Damn...that kiss…

  When would I stop destroying everyone around me with one impulsive act?

  Not long after we walked in I built a fire in the stone hearth and insisted Rez sit right next to it on the rug. I tugged off the bed comforter and wrapped it around her.

  She was right, I could handle cold. My beast burned hot underneath, although even I found the wind whipping off the water and shooting over the Cliffs of Moher bone chilling. I had pulled on a pair of sweats, keeping my chest bare. We seemed past the “appropriate” clothing rule.

  “Thank you.” Her teeth chattered when I handed her a warm cup of tea.

  “The least I can do after saving my life.” I snorted. “Guess we’re even. Didn’t think I’d be playing the damsel this soon.”

  “Not quite even.” She cupped the mug close to her.

  My jaw snapped together, and I turned back to the sink, looking outside.

  “Talk to me, West. I want to know about these nightmares.”

  “They’re none of your business.” I wrapped my fingers around the lip of the sink and leaned over, defensive anger coiling up my spine.

  “Don’t you think you walking off a cliff in the middle of the night is my business? The last time was across a field leading to a bluff.” She kept her voice soft but strong. “We’re in this together, remember? We have to depend on each other. I need to know why my partner is wanting to fling himself into the ocean.” She shook her head, her hair covering her face. “And I am your friend, West. I care about you.”

  “You don’t know me at all.”

  “Enough,” she snapped, whipping me around to face her. “I’m not going to pretend tonight didn’t happen. You thought I was this Cammie. You cry her name a lot in your sleep. Along with Aneira’s.”

  “Not the only names I’ve ever screamed out in the night, darlin’.” My lips lifted in a smirk.

  “West! For once,” she glanced at the ceiling, “can’t you be real with me?”

  “This is real.”

  “No. It’s not.” She glared. “Don’t think for a moment I don’t see past the façade. The cheeky, flirty thing is a part of you. But not all of you. You have so much darkness in you, but you hide it behind the jokes.”

  “I’m a Dark Dweller.” Anger bristled under my skin, but I wasn’t angry at her.

  “You know what I mean.” She set down her mug. “Who is Cammie? What did she mean to you?”

  “No, we’re not doing this.”

  “Yes. We. Are. Sit down and talk to me. Now,” she yelled, motioning to the spot next to her. Even screaming at me, the woman’s voice was like butter. More the kind you pulled out of a really cold refrigerator, but still creamy, rich, and soothing. I knew I wouldn’t deny her.

  “Shit,” I mumbled and grabbed a beer from the small fridge. I sat, slamming my back against the bed frame next to her, my jaw cracking with tension. Cammie was the last person I wanted to talk about. She and Aneira haunted me, consumed my dreams, but for two completely different reasons. One because she destroyed my soul, and one because I destroyed hers.

  I carried the memory for so long. What I did. The true monster I was. What Aneira subjected me to was nothing compared to what I did to a sweet, innocent girl.

  Aneira’s humiliation and torture wasn’t surprising. She did what was in her nature, and I was the enemy. We both knew it. There really were no surprises. She went beyond the normal torture, but still I went in somewhat prepared. A prisoner understands it’s not going to be a good time.

  But Cammie was unaware. Naïve. She thought she knew the guy she went to bed with at night. Every lie I crafted, every time I kissed her added to her doom. My own selfishness couldn’t leave her be. The need to find happiness, peace, a home, a life...took away hers. Cammie’s memory had become so vivid. Guilt and sadness engulfed me, bringing her back to life to torment me. I could feel her pushing against the lock where I had her contained, wanting her story to be heard.

  I leaned forward, grabbed the fire poker, and stuffed it deeper into the ashes, stirring the flame and my memory.

  “I was a man in love. Stupid and impulsive.”

  Rez didn’t move, her lids lowered on the fire, but I felt her undivided attention on every word.

  “Her name was Cammie. Cammelia Delilah Montgomery. Couldn’t get any more southern than that,” I said with a chuckle. I took a sip of my beer, setting down the poker. “From the instant I met her, the thought of being without her felt like a death sentence.” I shook my head at my naiveté. “It was the first time I had experienced love like that. The kind which completely engulfs you.” I glanced over and our eyes caught and held contact. I squinted back at the fire, rolling the bottle between my fingers. “The other members of my clan always had a sense of home, a sense of each other. I didn’t.” I swallowed, the declaration hard for me to say out loud. “Growing up the way I did, I always felt separated from them. Restless. Searching.”

  The fire crackled and popped, sparks drifting up the chimney like lightning bugs.

  “I thought I found it with her, whatever hole I was searching to fill. I ignored everything and pushed away the truth.” My chest clenched, more memories streaming in, cutting off my words.

  “What truth?” Rez gently encouraged me to keep talking. What she didn’t realize was I couldn’t have stopped now if I wanted to, the memories crashed against me, needing to get out of their prison I kept them in for so long.

  The bed frame creaked as I rested back into it.

  “That we could never be.”

  “Why?”

  My tongue slipped over my bottom lip and I exhaled. “Because she was human. And back then the rule was…”

  “No human could find out about us,” Rez filled in for me. Before the wall between worlds came down, fae were a guarded secret. No gray area existed.

  “My clan has killed many. That’s what we did. We were hired assassins. When we lost most of our tribe and were banished to Earth, Cole became leader. Our life here was different. He and Owen were the eldest and ran the clan, but some of us realized we were more than executioners. We kept to ourselves, stopped killing…unless they came after us or hurt one of our own. We could never totally change our nature, we only curbed it. Some of us took the adjustment better than others. I was one who struggled. Not with killing, but finding my place. No one knew. Keeping to myself was usual for me.

  “Watching everyone else adapt to Earth only made me feel like more of an outsider. I took off, leaving the only family I had ever known and traveled around, seeking a place to fit in.” I finished off my beer, setting the bottle down with a clink.

  “Dark Dwellers are like pack animals and live in clans. But unlike Cole, Eli, or Cooper, who would do anything for their family and sacrifice anything to protect them, I was different. I loved my family and would do anything for them, but I didn’t feel the same undeniable devotion to stay.

  “I traveled for months, going wherever my bike took me. Feeling as lost and even more alone. But then I was passing through a small town near Myrtle Beach. She was a waitress, and the moment she walked up to the table, with her southern accent and wholesomeness, I was hooked. Growing up in the Otherworld, naiveté is a death sentence. She was a breath of fresh air, and I needed her sweetness in my life then. Not that she hadn’t gone through shit. Her mother and most of her past relationships were a horror show, but she came out okay somehow.”

  I smiled, recalling her walking to my table with a pink diner uniform on, her long wavy blond hair pulled back in a ponytail, her hazel eyes guarded but full of sass. She had legs that went on forever.

  “She resisted my advances at first, but I knew it was only a front. It wasn’t long before we were completely consumed. She invited me over for dinner on our thir
d date, and I never left. We barely came up for air. It was fast, but we both fell hard. For eight months we lived in happy bliss.” I rubbed my chin, choking back another wave of emotion. “I thought she was it, the one. I had found home. The beast had finally calmed for the first time ever. It had never claimed a mate before, so I thought the serene mood meant it was going to. I wanted to believe more than anything.”

  “What happened to her?

  I blinked, the picture of Cammie’s face forming behind my lids brought waves of grief.

  “The only rule Cole was clear about, the only one we could not break,” I said hoarsely, “was to never let a human find out about us. If only I’d listened. Deep down I still was a Dark Dweller. No matter how far I’d run, I could never escape that or my brothers. They found me in South Carolina.”

  My jaw clenched as a memory flickered through my mind. It always came back to her—the woman who gave her heart to me completely—her soft skin, long blond hair, soft hazel eyes staring at me with adoration. Then came the memory of those same eyes looking at me with utter fright and betrayal. I shook my head, trying to dislodge her face from my mind. It was pointless. She was burned into my memory. The sounds of her terrified screams were etched into my soul forever.

  “After almost four years of being on the run, they suddenly showed up. Strange how one impulsive choice can change everything. End everything...” The day flooded back like a movie in my head. One I wished I could rewind and do over.

  ***

  Blond tresses curled over the pillow, and I buried my nose deeper into her locks, smelling the honey-and-flower shampoo she used. Her golden skin, tanned from the summer on the beach, curved temptingly into my body, making me desperate for her again. I bit down on my lip. I had to take it easy with her. Humans didn’t have the sex drive fae did, nor could I completely let myself go. Humans, I was beginning to learn, were tough on the inside, but their bodies and lives were fragile. Fleeting.