Ascending From Madness Page 16

  Matt sat back on his heels, his jaw clenching.

  “You may not fully remember who you are and what you did. But you will,” Noel said. “And I hope those ghosts haunt you forever. Right now? You two are our best hope to find him, bring him back, and beat her. So go, now!”

  With a jolt, Matt and I moved for the exit, but I swung around, hugging Noel.

  “Thank you.” I squeezed him.

  “Yeah. Yeah.” He patted my back, but his voice couldn’t hide the softness in it. “Stay safe, Alice.”

  “You too.” I stepped back. “And just curious…”

  “Were those sheets really soaked with Happy’s urine?”

  A slow, wicked smile spread on Noel’s face.

  “You’re an asshole.”

  Which only widened his smile.

  “Alice, come on.” Matt beckoned me.

  “Will I see you again?” I treaded backward, looking at Noel.

  “If that is our story.” His amber eyes locked on mine.

  I dipped my head, then turned and ran, catching up with Matt. Together we got to the large rolling doors that would let us out to the car in back.

  “You ready?” Matt grabbed the heavy door, ready to pull it open. “Oh, and I should let you know, I don’t know how to drive those modern contraptions.”

  “What?” I blinked at him.

  “I was born in a time when horses pulled wagons,” he exclaimed. “Since then, I clearly didn’t need to learn. Winterland obviously isn’t in need of a DMV anytime soon.”

  “Good. Because I prefer to drive anyway. Let’s go.” I nodded at the door, rolling my hands into fists.

  Opening it just enough to fit us, we bolted out, keeping close to the shadows, our shoes crunching across the gravel. My heartbeat banged in my ears, fear wiggled in my throat, sticking to the walls of my esophagus like suction cups.

  “There.” Matt pointed at the SUV by the dumpster, going for the passenger side and climbing in, tearing open the glove box, tossing me the keys. I jumped into the driver’s seat, my heart pounding in my chest as I turned on the ignition. Pulling out, I gunned it out of the parking lot, terror gripping my lungs like a clamp, my gaze darting to the rearview mirror expecting to see nurses and guards piling out the front door. What was in front of us sank my stomach far more than that notion.

  Large iron gates at the entrance leading into the property were closed; several guards stood at posts, rifle guns hooked over their arms. Uniformed and identical.

  There was no turning back. No other way but to go forward.

  “Shit… if they didn’t know we were escaping, they’re about to now.” I gripped the steering wheel, my foot slamming down on the gas. “Put on your seatbelt and hold on.”

  “Oh fuck.” Matt strapped himself in, his hand wrapping around the “oh shit” handle above the window, his boots pressing into the floor.

  The guards jumped to face me, noticing the car not slowing down, their arms waving for me to stop.

  I don’t think so, toy soldiers.

  For a brief second, I saw wooden toy soldiers instead of the men there, their painted mouths forming perfect circles, but I didn’t have time to think about it. I pushed the pedal to the floor. The engine roared with velocity, hurling us toward the barricade.

  I clenched my teeth together, watching the guards fling themselves out of the way as the front of the SUV slammed into the thick iron.

  The shrill sound of scrapping and crunching metal pierced my ears. The car jolted with impact, jostling us around. I held the steering wheel firm, my foot ramming down harder, the SUV bursting through the gates.

  Bang! Bang!

  Bullets cracked against the back window and pinged off the body of the car.

  “Shitting elves!” Matt dipped lower in his seat. I only got a glimpse from my rearview mirror, figures running after us, their guns pointed at the car.

  Yanking the wheel, the SUV skidded out onto the main street, smoke billowing off the back tires as they tried to grip the damp pavement. Squealing, the car jolted forward as I straightened us out, keeping us on the road before my foot crashed down on the gas again.

  Crack!

  The back window exploded; chunks of glass caught in my hair, slicing into my arms as more bullets plowed into it.

  My focus was locked forward, feeling the wheels finally catch up with what I was demanding from the accelerator. The SUV shot forward, barreling down the dark country road. I knew it wouldn’t be long before they were after us, but their time to catch up before we hit major roads was inching away from them.

  Jessica wasn’t the mafia. I didn’t think she’d come after us, guns blazing in populated areas, giving to a car chase. Though I didn’t put it past her either.

  Matt glanced behind us before his gaze landed on me, his eyes burning into my profile.

  “What?” I dared a quick glance at him.

  He gaped at me, his one blue eye darkening with passion. “Can I say, Ms. Liddell… you… that… was fucking hot.”

  I looked over at him again. When he called me by my last name, something stirred deep in me.

  “Seriously, beyond impressed… and can I say completely turned on?” He shook his head, shifting in his seat, brushing pieces of glass off his shirt.

  Yeah, me too. The adrenaline pumped through my veins, and his heated look was giving me wicked thoughts.

  “What is our plan? Jessica has to know we are gone by now.” I cleared my throat, needing to keep focused on our escape and not pulling the car over and diving into the back seat with him.

  Playfulness evaporated off him, his jaw rolling along with his shoulders. “Tim.” He turned his head out of the window. “I need to see him.”

  His son was, of course, the first thing he’d want to go get. To protect him from her.

  “Okay. We’ll head there.” I swerved the car down another road, heading for town. “It will be the first place she’ll look for us. She might already be calling my parents, warning them their insane daughter is on the loose. I have a little money saved up. We can take him and run if we have to.”

  “No.” He stared straight ahead. “No running.”

  “What?” I zoomed the SUV down the main street through downtown New Britain. Christmas lights and decorations were strung down the lane on the quiet street, the shops closed up for the night.

  “I have to go back. This isn’t my world anymore. Winterland is my home… and I know in my gut I have to get back there. People are depending on me…” He faced me, his voice gravelly. “On us.”

  He was right. I could feel it too. I just had no clue how to get there or what to do.

  Nibbling on my lip, I shivered, cranking the heater higher. Freezing air blew in the absent back window, streaming over my bare arms, and easily passing through the thin scrubs.

  I drove the beat-up SUV down our street, parking it far enough from our houses to hopefully go unnoticed. Matt leaped out, hobbling straight for his house. The windows glowed with light, his feet coming to a halt right in front, his regard locked on the living room window.

  Stopping next to him, I followed his gaze to the little boy sitting stiffly on the sofa. Beautiful, he stared at the TV, watching it, looking more like a doll than a real boy.

  “What is he doing up? It’s not even dawn yet.”

  “He never sleeps well… another sign I ignored. My boy slept soundly. Nothing woke him up.” A choked sound came from Matt, turning my head to him. Grief etched over his beaten face, his eye glistening with emotion.

  “Matt, what’s wrong?” I gripped his arm, the sorrow emanating off him stabbing at my heart.

  “I hoped I was wrong.” He choked, his lids closing briefly for a moment, anguish creeping over his features. “I knew it in my soul… but I kept pushing it away, pretending. Living in the fantasy. The hope. But I knew…”

  “Knew what?”

  “That he is not my son.” His Adam’s apple bobbed; his muscles tightened under his skin. “He
’s not real.”

  “What?” I peered over at the boy then back at Matt. “What do you mean?”

  “You know how I told you he had night terrors?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, it wasn’t him who was having them. It was me. I dreamed every night of killing my son…” He shuddered. “Why I could never sleep, afraid of myself… but most of all, afraid of the truth.”

  “What truth?”

  “That is not my boy.” He took a shaky breath. “My son is dead.”

  “What?” My stomach dropped, plummeting to my toes. I stared back at the child in front of us. “I don’t understand.”

  “You see, Ms. Liddell.” Matt twisted his head to look at me, heartache drowning his expression. “In Winterland, my son was killed…” He pressed his lips together. “By me. I killed him.”

  My lungs whooshed like I’d been sucker punched, my feet stumbling back.

  “What?”

  “The nightmares keeping me up at night. Watching my son’s life slipping away wasn’t a nightmare… it was my reality. Whomever this is. He’s not my Timmy.” He motioned to the boy who hadn’t moved a hair, blinking in perfect repetition. “It’s Jessica’s concoction to torture and contain me without me even knowing. She held me with the one thing I would give my life to have back. The perfect thing to keep me prisoner without a single lock.” Anguish closed his eyes, dropping his head.

  I worked with enough kids at my job in Santa’s Cottage to know five-year-old boys never sat still. Now, watching him, he didn’t seem real to me either. Almost like a robot.

  “Do you know what’s it’s like to have the only thing you ever loved back? Knowing I could keep pretending, living in this lie, raising my son. Be the father I never got to be to him, watch him grow.”

  “But it would be a lie,” I spoke softly, knowing I had no clue what he must be going through.

  “I lost my son once… it feels as if I’m losing him all over again.”

  “Then why can’t we try to bring him?”

  A sad smile hinted on his lips for only a moment. “Because he’s not meant for that world or even this one. My son is gone. I will not dishonor his memory with a poor substitution because it eases my grief.” He looked down at me. “I should feel the pain. Remember it every day.”

  He stared straight ahead, his voice low. “The moment I came for you, I made my choice.”

  You are the one who will end up taking Timothy away. And he will hate you for it. Either way I win. Jessica’s once odd claim came to life before me. Choosing to come for me, he understood he would never be with his son again.

  A figure moved into the living room, making us dart behind the apple tree. It was the same woman I saw at the therapist’s office, Jessica’s secretary, or she was that afternoon. They all seemed to work for the queen where she needed them. The woman sat next to the boy, taking the remote and switching the channel. Tim didn’t react at all as the cartoon shifted to a reality TV show. The ring of a phone chimed from inside, the woman picking up her cell. I couldn’t hear what she was saying, but when her head turned sharply to the window, her eyes narrowing like she could see through the dark night.

  With my every fiber, I knew Jessica was on the other line, warning her of us showing up.

  “Shit. Come on, we need to go.” I intertwined our fingers, but he didn’t budge. Nervously, I glanced over at my house next door. Dark except for the Christmas lights trimming the house, and no cars in the drive.

  A light came on in a neighbor’s house across the street, casting us in ashen light, the early dawn starting to wake the early risers for work.

  I didn’t know what to do, but we needed to get off the street. My neighbors proved they were not to be trusted and would call the cops or Jessica on me in a blink if they thought the crazy girl broke out of the zoo.

  “Matt.” I yanked on his arm.

  “Bye, little man.” He swallowed, watching Tim, soaking him in, swiping at a tear pooling in the corner of his good eye. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t be the father you deserved, in any life or world. I love you.” The last part he muttered so low I barely heard it. All I could hear was his heart breaking again.

  Matt bit down, took a deep breath, his hand clutching mine fiercely. He turned away, slamming down on his emotions, his focus ahead. “Let’s go.”

  The agony he must feel having to say goodbye to the life he could have had with his son… forever.

  Chapter 23

  The impending day hinted on the horizon, the thick clouds glowing a brighter gray. My boots crunched over the snow, chilling my exposed skin even more. The desperation to get out of sight pulled me toward my house. Finding the hidden key, my skin greedily lapped up the warmth of the house when we slipped in. Heading up the stairs, I peeked into my parent’s room. “Mom? Dad?”

  Their bed was empty, dresses and my dad’s slacks draped all over the bed, which looked like their nicer stuff they wore to University events.

  “Dinah?” I rushed for the next room; my sister’s bed was also vacant. No one was home, which normally would be odd, but my sister was always with her boyfriend, especially when our parents were gone. They stayed in Hartford a lot during the holidays, with all the University parties. It hurt knowing that’s probably where they were, even though it was irrational. Life was going on for them, attending parties, laughing and joking, while I was locked in hell.

  I veered toward my room, the tick of the clock downstairs batting at my nerves.

  Clothes. Money. Until we figured out our next step, we needed to hide. Bloody cornflower blue scrubs stood out far too much.

  “I don’t want to tell you how many times I fantasized about climbing into your bedroom window at night.” Matt rumbled behind me, causing my chest to flutter.

  “You don’t know how many times I imagined you climbing into my window.” I reached for my door, shoving it open. His growl heated the back of my neck. He took two steps in and stopped.

  “What the fuck?” His gaze roamed over my bedroom, landing on the wall chock full of my designs. His muscles stiffened, his expression turning cold. He strode directly to one of the sheets filled with my obsession. He tore it off the wall, his gaze rolling over it before he swung to me. “What. Is. This?” Fury lit his eyes as they burned into me.

  “Evidence of my craziness?” My pulse picked up, tension swallowing the oxygen in the room.

  He was in my face in a blink, his body looming over mine, the darkness encasing us. “Don’t fucking joke with me right now. What is this? Where did you get this?” He pointed to one I drew of the teapot pouring into the hat.

  “It’s my design. When I came back… I was obsessed with it, especially the hat. I couldn’t get it out of my head. It’s what started to freak my family out. I couldn’t stop drawing it.” My finger went over the hat, trailing down the scarf.

  Air heaved through his nose, his eyes watching me, then he grabbed the bottom of his shirt, ripping it over his head, displaying his ripped torso, locking up my throat. My body couldn’t help but respond, sucking in roughly, desire flaming up my thighs.

  But then everything stopped. My gaze landed on the ink on his chest, covering his heart and shoulder. The memory in the maze. The tattoo over his heart… the exact one I had been drawing.

  It’s always teatime inked over his heart with a teakettle pouring into a top hat with a red scarf.

  I was right. Breathing heavy, my hand lifted, my cold fingers skating over the top of the inked lines. He sucked in, a muscle in his chest twitching under my touch, but he didn’t move.

  “I knew it,” I muttered, my fingers tracing the art. “At the time I didn’t know how I knew, but I knew I had seen it. Touched it.” His breathing stumbled as my fingers continued to explore, our bodies getting closer. I leaned in, my lips grazing over the top hat. “Kissed it…”

  He sucked in, his lids closing. “Alice.” He rumbled my name. It felt so familiar. The need when he said my first name.

&n
bsp; “Scrooge,” I whispered without thinking. His hands clamped down on my hips, pulling me in, pressing himself firmer into me, heat blooming off his skin, forcing my teeth to saw into my lip.

  “I like when you call me that.” His nose nuzzled into my neck. His erection hot and heavy against me. “Feels real.”

  A moan pattered in my lungs, needing him more than anything. This was a terrible idea and very bad timing, but as if he were a force field, I had no control over myself.

  “We should be getting out of here,” I said, my teeth dragging over his tattoo making both of us groan.

  “We should.” His hips pushed into mine, rolling and dragging the thin fabric. Friction and desire sparked up my spine. He gripped the back of my head, sending pain and pleasure through my nerves. “She’s coming for us, but I can’t think of anything but fucking you. I don’t remember what happened in Winterland between us, but you have been torturing me enough in this realm.”

  “Same.” My hands slunk down his body, his skin feeling like electricity under my fingertips, sliding over the band of the pants. “Like I need you more than I fear whatever is coming for us.”

  “Most likely it will be me if you keep doing that.” He gritted his teeth as my hands moved down his V-line, my knuckles brushing the tip of him. “Fuck.” A deep growl hummed from his chest as he grabbed my ass, tossing me back on the bed and crawling between my legs. Ripping my top and sports bra over my head, my back arched as his hand skimmed down to my breasts.

  Flashes of him over me, fire burning in a hearth, a white rug tickling my skin, my back arching as I moaned in pleasure at his touch. I gasped. The images were strong, causing more raw desire to take hold of me. What was right or wrong no longer mattered.

  I shoved at his pants, not caring about the danger outside the doors. Danger only seemed to intensify my need for him.

  “Alice.” He grunted, tugging at my own pants and boots, yanking them quickly off my body. His lips nipped at my stomach and moved up, covering one of my breasts.