Twisted Love (Blinded Love Series Book 3) Page 17

  Now we sat in the small sterile room waiting for the results, the tiny space feeling as if it were shrinking by the minute.

  Chris let out a breath and sat up straighter. My gaze tracked the tall lean doctor who looked to be in his mid-forties, bald, but with a reddish-blond beard and light green eyes. I recognized him. Dr. Levine. One of the many specialists who had seen my father through his cancer treatment.

  A vise seemed to clamp down on my lungs from the moment the nurse led us to the x-ray room. I had a horrible sense of déjà vu.

  Dr. Levine’s face was expressionless as he took a seat across from us, his demeanor stiff. My heart was pounding so hard my teeth were chattering.

  “I had them rush the results.” He paused, the room filling with a piercing silence. “The MRI shows a large mass on the frontal right side of your brain.”

  Bile burned up my throat, my heart tumbling over itself. “What?”

  Dr. Levine rolled his chair over to a box on the wall, where he shoved the MRI printout onto it and lit it up. An outline of a head glowed back at us. Dr. Levine’s finger went to it, circling a blob. “Here.”

  Chris’s hand grabbed mine, clutching it hard.

  “A tumor,” Chris said quietly, his head dipping slightly; he’d known all along.

  “It doesn’t mean it’s malignant, Chris. I won’t lie and say with your family history there’s not a genuine fear it’s cancerous. Although, there is a good possibility it’s benign, but no matter what, it is pushing into your brain tissue, which can be very serious.

  His fingers crushed mine, his shoulders crumpling forward. I had no idea what to do. How to comfort him. If anything, I needed someone here to comfort me. But I leaned into him, trying to be a pillar, pretending I wasn’t made completely out of sand.

  “I want to set up a surgery as soon as possible.” Dr. Levine stood. “The longer we put it off, the higher risk of seizures, paralysis, memory lapses.”

  “Surgery?” It wasn’t really a question, but the word popped out like I was a parrot.

  “I want to remove as much as possible to take pressure off your brain. At the same time, I will do a biopsy to see if it’s cancerous.”

  “Why not take it all out?”

  “The more extensive the surgery the higher the risks.”

  “I don’t give a shit. Take it out.”

  “Chris…” I shook my head, feeling the anger grow in him.

  He shot me a glower before turning to the doctor. “I know the risks. I’ve seen what brain tumors do. Take it out.”

  “It might be benign.”

  “I want it out.” He let go of my hand, standing up. He had a good four inches over the doctor and a lot more mass.

  Dr. Levine didn’t even flinch, his arms folding. “I need you to understand all the possibilities first. The dangers.”

  “Give me the paperwork.” Chris held out his hand, his expression set in stone.

  “Chris.” Dr. Levine sighed.

  “I’ve been here before. I know the risks and I’ve seen what happens when it gets too late to take it out,” Chris growled, his hand still out. “Please. I am willing to live with the gamble. It’s my decision. I want to do this!”

  Dr. Levine blew out a deep breath, slowly nodding. “Okay. Read over and sign. Leave them with the nurse at the front. She’ll set up an appointment for you and give you information about the surgery.” He handed Chris a stack of papers.

  Chris took them, his focus on the documents, ignoring the doctor.

  Dr. Levine glanced over to me with a sorrow-filled smile. He gave me a nod before exiting the room.

  Chris grabbed a pen left on the counter, scribbling his name and initials, flipping through the sheets with incredible speed.

  “Hey.” I grabbed his shoulder. “Shouldn’t you read those?”

  “No,” he snipped. “I already know what they say.” He paused, looking over at me. “I read them word for word when I was fifteen, thinking it would help save my mother. Basically the same shit, Gypsy. Reading them won’t save me any more than it did her.”

  Liquid burned behind my lids, my throat closing on itself. His response hit me so hard, I felt myself shut down. I had tried not to let him in, but he had snuck under my skin just the same, and now I might lose him. Life was crushing me.

  I stood silently while he finished signing and the nurse took him through the steps of pre-surgery, handing him a legal envelope size of information on his surgery.

  “Dr. Levine rearranged his schedule to fit you in tomorrow at ten a.m.”

  “Really? That soon?” I balked.

  “He had the day off but understands how crucial it was to do it as soon as possible.” The twenty-something nurse’s cheeks flushed pink, a flirty smile quirking her lips. “His compassion for his patients is so honorable. It was his only day off in months, but he’d rather be here helping people.”

  Chris turned toward me enough she couldn’t see and lifted his one eyebrow. I tried to hide my grin. Someone had a crush.

  “We’ll see you tomorrow. Remember no eating or drinking after midnight.”

  “Because I’ll turn into a Gremlin,” he responded dryly.

  “Huh?” She tilted her head, having no idea what he was talking about, while I clasped a hand over my mouth trying to hold back my laughter.

  Another thing Chris and I had in common, besides joking at inappropriate moments, was a shared love for cheesy eighties movies.

  “Have a good day.” Chris gathered his documents and clasped my hand as we walked out.

  A sliver of the sun hovered on the horizon when we stepped out, making me feel as if I just came from some time warp.

  We strolled to my car only dropping hands when we went to our sides of the car. Opening the door, hot air rushing out, I noticed a piece of paper folded up under my windshield wipers. I grabbed it, unfolding it.

  Recognized The Grateful Dead sticker on the bumper. H and I were visiting Krista and Emlyn, but didn’t see you. Everything okay? --Jayme

  Whiskey knew I wouldn’t step foot into a hospital if I didn’t have to. As far as she knew, I had no reason to be here, especially if I wasn’t checking on her or Emlyn.

  “Shit.” I fell into the driver’s seat, pulling out my cell. I hadn’t looked at it all day. As I expected, there were three texts from Jayme, all saying pretty much the same as her note or wondering what I was up to tonight.

  “I don’t want them to know.” Chris slammed the door, buckling in.

  “Why?” I turned on the engine, the AC blaring into my face. “Don’t you think they have the right to know? They are your friends. They’d want to be with you.”

  “Exactly.”

  “Chris. That’s fucked up. How would you feel if you found out Hunter or Jones were hiding something this serious from you? It would piss you off, and you’d be hurt they didn’t tell you.”

  “I know.” He sank back into the seat. “Call me a selfish asshole, but I just can’t right now.” He stared out the side window. “I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to hear everything will be fine or have to put on a brave face for the rest of the night. I really want to go home, watch movies, eat pizza, and not think.” He glanced over at me with a soft smile. “With you.”

  Now it was my turn to blush like a schoolgirl, the sensation foreign and uncomfortable.

  “Well, pizza was part of the deal.” I pulled out of parking lot, not looking at him.

  “Stevie.” He rumbled my name, tugging my eyes to him. His expression serious. “Thank you.”

  “Don’t thank me yet, Ape-boy.” I focused on the road, my hands gripping the steering wheel tightly. “I want pineapple on my pizza.”

  “Oh. Fuck. No.” He violently shook his head. “That poisons it!” He pointed at me, stopping my response. “And yes, even if it’s only on half. That shit contaminates everything it touches. Slithers onto my side.”

  “That’s the deal.”

  “You are really going to b
e this cruel? Come on, Gyps. This might be my final meal…”

  “Oh…oh! Don’t even try to use the sympathy card to get out of this,” I growled. I loved how easily he and I stepped back into this banter. “Sell that shit somewhere else. Not buying it here.”

  “Evil, evil woman.” He huffed, folding his arms, humor dancing on his lips.

  “Yeah, and?” I taunted.

  “True.” He chuckled. “I knew exactly what I was getting into after the first night.”

  “After?” I turned the car around a corner.

  “Yeah. I should have seen the moment you stepped up to me at the bonfire that you were not like the rest. But I remember it was the next morning, our third go-around since waking up, and I wondered why I was still there and not running for the door. Why I wanted more…like I couldn’t get enough. It hit me.”

  “What hit you?” My voice barely squeaked out, almost wishing I hadn’t asked. Part of me wanted to hear his answer, another part wanted to shut it down before he said it out loud.

  He rubbed his scruffy chin, his shoulders lowering as though he was tired of fighting. Breathing in, he turned his head to me, his voice matter of fact.

  “That I met my match.”

  That not only did you find your equal…but he found his. My mother’s sentiment came back to me. I kept my face straight ahead, unable to respond, panic rising like an obstructed waterway, filling faster than I was able to move.

  I drove the car to the best pizza in town, appearing calm and collected on the outside while I flailed around inside. Submerged in icy terror, drowning in fear.

  Chapter Nineteen

  On the screen flashed dozens of ugly toddler-sized creatures wearing popcorn buckets for hats, tinsel, and old 3D paper glasses, singing “Hi-ho” along with the seven dwarfs. A mostly uneaten pizza sat on the coffee table before us.

  When he asked what movie I wanted to watch, I replied, “Gremlins” with a wink. But neither of us were really watching it. Nor did we have an appetite even though we ate nothing all day. The elephant in the room had grown into Godzilla, stomping and roaring, while we pretend not to see or hear it.

  Chris had pulled my legs over his lap, his fingers absently rubbing them as he either stared down at them or at the screen, not seeing either.

  My cell buzzed on the sofa next to me, and I knew who it was before I even looked. I swear that girl could sense something was off, like we were connected by a spiderweb. A single vibration running through the air.

  Hey. I’m getting worried. Where are you? You okay? Doug’s having people over. You want to come?

  I’m fine. Gonna hang with Mom tonight. Have fun. I hated lying to Whiskey, but I promised Chris.

  What’s going on? You never choose to hang out with your mom. Why was your car at the hospital today?

  Dammit. I wish Jayme wasn’t so insightful.

  IKR? Mom and I have had breakthrough. Talk later.

  Why are you avoiding my question? Stevie, I know you. Something is up.

  There was no good reason for me to be at the hospital. Any kind of checkup I would need would be at my doctor’s office. I did the only thing she’s believe.

  Hot nurse. Met her last time I was there. They really understand anatomy. I added a winky face.

  Ah, she responded. I couldn’t tell if she believed it or not. She had no reason not to. That was totally something I’d do. So why did I feel as if she could see right through my lie?

  I hated Whiskey thinking I was with someone else, even though it was a lie, as if she’d also think less of me…

  What. The. Hell?

  “Who are you texting?” Chris finally noticed my fingers sliding over my screen, my attention no longer on the movie.

  “Jaymerson.” I frowned, a dirty feeling stirring me on the sofa. “I hate lying to her.”

  “What did you say?”

  “That I was at the hospital to screw a hot nurse.”

  Chris’s eyebrows lifted, a strange smirk sliding over his mouth. “Can I join?”

  “No.”

  “No?”

  “That’s the point; I’m making up a story that leaves you out of it.”

  “But it’s made up. Why can’t I be there too?”

  “Because.”

  “Why?”

  “Because if you’re there…I’m not letting the hot nurse touch you.” I sneered, feeling an unreasonable spike of jealousy.

  “She’s made up.”

  “So? She’s still a backstabbing, slutty nurse. I just kicked her out. No nurse for you.”

  Chris laughed, shaking his head. “You’re weird.”

  “Tell me about it.” I set down my cell, allowing myself to really look at him. He looked exhausted, but it made me want to hold him until he fell asleep. Protect him. Take care of him… Oh god.

  My heart accelerated, stamping the truth across my chest like a tattoo. He was so gorgeous, but it was more than that.

  Fuck. No.

  Yanking my legs away, my feet hit the floor. I moved forward, my hand pressing against my chest trying to keep my heart from bursting through my ribs.

  “Hey?” Chris scooted to me, brushing my black, red, and blonde hair over my shoulder. I realized I hadn’t changed the color in a while. That wasn’t like me. Bizarre thought to have at this moment, but it struck me hard, realizing I hadn’t felt the need to since Chris and I started to hang out again. “You okay?”

  Was I?

  My palms rubbed at my face, taking deep breaths. He rubbed my back in gentle strokes, trying to soothe me. This man was facing the scare of his life, and he was comforting me.

  Shocking even myself, a sob wrenched through my body, breaking any partitions I still held between us. Once the barriers fell, I couldn’t keep them up, my muscles spasming with anguish.

  Fear, grief, helplessness…and love.

  Oh. God.

  I loved him.

  So fucking much I couldn’t even breathe.

  There wasn’t any point in denying it now. It was there if I wanted it to be or not. The pain would not be less if I kept trying to pretend I didn’t. I loved Tarzan. And there was a high probability either cancer or the surgery itself would take him from me.

  Chris drew me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me, his body engulfing me in a shield of protection as he let me cry. He rocked us back and forth, holding me tight, his mouth brushing my temple. He didn’t tell my everything was going to be okay. We both knew it might not be. Life mocked our hopes.

  My tears slowly ebbed, but I stayed tucked against his chest, never wanting to leave. He was the one to pull back first. Silently staring down at me, his thumbs brushed away my tears, the expression of his face stealing my breath.

  His gaze was penetrating and severe. Desire. But this time it wasn’t lustful…it was something much deeper.

  “Chris—”

  “No,” he whispered. “Help me forget.” He repeated the same words I had said to him after waking up from that nightmare. “Please.”

  I lifted a hand to his jaw, guiding his face to mine, our lips meeting. He breathed me in, parting my mouth. Deep and slow, his tongue matched mine in the most sensual dance. He tipped my head back, kissing me so deeply I felt it all across my body, tingles raced up my veins, zapping my flesh with heat. I groaned, pushing him back as I crawled onto him, straddling his lap.

  His hands gripped my hips, grinding me into his erection, flaring need through me like tsunami. My head fell back as his mouth trailed down my neck. His fingers skating up my sides, and pulled my tank over my head, my hair tumbling back down over my shoulders.

  His gaze grew hungry as his eyes took me in. “From the moment we met, it’s only been you I craved.”

  “Not Megan?” I heard the jealousy in my question before I could stop myself.

  “Fuck no.” He traced me from sternum to the band of my shorts. “After seeing you the night before with that girl, I lost my shit, got so drunk at Doug’s she had to drive me home.
We had a few drinks here. She always flirted with me, but it wasn’t anything more than that. Until that night. She started teasing me that I was totally whipped. That the player had been played. I denied it. She challenged me to prove it…she was the one who kissed me. And I won’t lie. I was so pissed at you, I let her. But…” Chris’s mouth briefly kissed the spot between my breasts. “It felt wrong. Like I was kissing my cousin or something.”

  “Had experience in that?” I lifted an eyebrow.

  “Isn’t it you who has the twisted fantasies about the Dukes of Hazzard cousins getting it on in a barn?” He grinned, his fingers unlatching my bra, which I let slide down my arms before I tossed it to the ground. “Might need to explore that.”

  I raised a brow.

  “What you saw was all that happened. And nothing’s happened since. We both agreed we were drunk, and it was a huge mistake,” he said, but his focus was on my breasts, his hands exploring my skin. I arched into his chest. “She was right, anyway.”

  “About what?” My voice came out breathy and low.

  “That I was totally whipped.” Chris shook his head. “Still am.”

  I took a huge inhale, feeling his words like gunshot, a bullet filled with hope and fear.

  “Nobody has come close to you.” His lips pressed together, as if he were uncomfortable admitting it. “Two years I tried to find someone, anyone, who equaled you.”

  “And?”

  “Not even close.”

  My head bowed. “Same.”

  He didn’t respond, just grew still.

  Now it was my turn to speak. “I’m sorry for the night you saw me with that girl. I felt sick and hated myself the moment I woke up. I barely remembered it. I thought seeing you was some guilt dream. I came here to apologize when I saw you with Megan.” I peered at him through my lashes. “When you told me you were leaving…I reacted badly.”

  “Not important anymore.” He sat up, holding me to him. “But I don’t want to waste any more time tonight. We’re here now.” He glided his fingers down my sides and cupped my ass.

  I locked my legs around his hips as he stood up and carried me upstairs to the bedroom.

  For once we didn’t rush anything, but tasted and explored every inch of skin with hands and mouths. We thoroughly discovered and teased, taking each other to the brink, before backing off. My body ached with need and when he finally thrust into me, we still didn’t rush.