Shattered Love Read online

  “Please. You boys could do it in your sleep.” She swished her hand. “Jason needs to cut his running time down. Don’t be easy on him this year, Captain. Especially after his stunt last night. Ugh. Boys.” She rolled her eyes then squeezed Colton’s arm, giving him a wink. “Now, go have fun. Be young and beautiful.” She motioned us toward the kitchen.

  The rookie returned with two beers in his hand, handing them to us. Colton slammed his down in a couple of gulps. “You drinking your beer?” I shook my head. He took mine and slammed it back. “Don’t look at me like that, Jayme.” He rolled his eyes.

  “I wasn’t.”

  “Yes, you were. Stop giving me the ‘judgy’ eyes and have fun. It’s our senior year.” He grabbed a Jell-O shot off the table and swallowed it, then handed me one.

  My fingers gripped the plastic cup.

  “Come on, let’s be crazy tonight.” He bounced on his feet, still full of adrenaline from practice and the alcohol coursing through his veins. I nodded and downed the gelatin mixture. He let out a whoop and tugged me out where our friends were dancing.

  I should have fun. Act my age for once.

  Chapter Three

  “Jaymerson? Open your eyes.” A smooth voice urged me awake.

  I opened my eyes. A striking African-American woman looked down at me and smiled with a familiarity I did not reciprocate. My eyes landed on her name tag: Dr. Felicia Williams. My mother sat in the chair next to me.

  “I’m glad you came back to us,” the doctor said.

  It was the second time someone said this to me. They spoke as if a lot of time had passed. I tried to speak, but words struggled to get beyond my throat.

  “It’s all right. Take your time. The tube we removed from your throat will cause it to be sore for a while.” The doctor peered down at me. “Do you remember how you got here?”

  I stared at her, trying to center my thoughts. How did I get here? Why was I here? What happened?

  “Do you know where you are, Jaymerson? Nod if you do.”

  I stared at her, my brain trying to grasp a memory. Nothing stuck.

  “Can’t she remember?” My mother’s voice rose in panic.

  “I’m trying to discover that, Mrs. Holloway. Jaymerson suffered major trauma to her body and swelling in her brain. She might experience some confusion, even amnesia, for a while. But in case, I’m going to lower the morphine, which could be keeping her memory foggy.”

  “Will she be in pain, though?”

  “Mrs. Holloway, your daughter is likely to experience pain for some time. Mentally and physically.” Dr. Williams turned, as though to walk out the room. “I’ll give you a few minutes alone before she needs to rest. Staying awake even for a few minutes at a time can be taxing on her system.”

  My mother nodded. Her dark brown disheveled bun bobbed loosely back and forth. Strain wore heavily on her makeup-less face.

  I sensed pressure on my hand, and I slowly turned my head to see her fingers wrap over mine. Even the small movement was like rolling through sticky oatmeal. Tubes and needles stuck from the veins in my arms, dripping liquid into my system.

  Tears flooded her eyes as she swallowed. I could see her fighting back the emotion wanting to burst out. “Your father keeps missing the times you’re awake. I’ll make sure you get to see him and Reece next time.” She took her brown eyes off mine and glanced at the beeping monitor. “They miss you so much. Do you remember me? Your father and little sister?”

  Remember? My mind couldn’t focus on anything too long to remember. I understood she was my mother, but like it was instinct. Father. Sister. Yes, those came with the same inherent knowledge. Beyond that, I felt exhausted. Fear clenched my lungs, keeping me from pushing past the wall blocking my memories.

  “Please…” my mom whispered. She looked tired, drained. “Tell me you remember us.”

  It took all my energy to force my head up and down. I didn’t even realize my lids closed, but I heard her sigh. Her hair and forehead touched the top of my hand before sleep claimed me.

  “Chug! Chug! Chug!” The crowd in the kitchen chanted, circling around the man they worshipped.

  I grasped the counter; the four Jell-O shots I swallowed spun my head. I watched Colton finish another beer and toss up his arms.

  “Whooo!” Colton screamed to the crowd cheering around him.

  “Colton is awesome.” Savannah stumbled over to me and grabbed my shoulder to hold herself up. “Seriously, you two are so cute. I’m kinda jealous.” She laughed. “Did I ever tell you we kissed once?”

  “No.” My head jerked to her, making it spin more.

  “Don’t worry. It was like when we were seven. We were playing spin-the-bottle.” She nudged my shoulder. “I’ll bet he doesn’t even remember it.” Even in my hazy state I saw sadness flicker through her expression before she turned to me with a huge smile plastered on her face. “Let’s go dance.” Without waiting for my reply, she pulled me into the living room. I swayed to the music next to Savannah, Madison, Chloe, and a few other girls from the squad. Sweat from the humid night and packed room clung to our bodies.

  “Sexy,” Colton’s voice rumbled in my ear, and his body pressed into my back, moving with me. His hands wandered down my hips, my dress slipping up with his caresses.

  “Hey.” I snatched the hem, pulling it back down.

  “Come with me.” He grabbed my hand, pulling me toward the stairs.

  “You two have fun.” Savannah’s twinkly laugh followed me. I could feel my cheeks burst with embarrassment. With our group of friends nothing seemed private, and everyone told each other everything, directly or through implication.

  “Colton?” I took the steps and trailed him. I could sense eyes from below watching us head to a bedroom. They would assume we were going to have sex, but it was the one thing I wasn’t ready for. Not now. And especially not here.

  He tugged me into one of the many guest rooms and slammed the door. The moment it was closed his hands were all over me.

  “Colton. Hey.” I grabbed his face. “Slow down.”

  “Sorry.” He leaned his head against mine, his lids low, his cheeks flushed. “You’re just so damn sexy.” He kissed me. I kissed him back. He slowly moved me to the bed and gently nudged me back. His lips never left mine as he crawled over me, his mouth becoming more fevered.

  Colton’s push for sex started a few months after we started to date. We actually broke up for two months over it. It wasn’t until a night at the lake, at the end of school last semester, Colton let down his walls, and I truly fell in love with him. It was me who instigated it that night. He was the one who halted it. He blamed it on not having protection and not being the right place. I was embarrassed and hurt even though he had been right to stop it then. I no longer felt “ready.” Sex put a slight strain on our relationship. In everything else Colton was fun, laid back, and carefree, easy to be around and always the life of the party.

  Now it was easy to get caught up in the sensation of his lips on mine and the silk of his fingers sliding down my arm. Our kiss deepened. Did I want to cross the line tonight? We’d come extremely close on several occasions. All stopped by me, except one—the night at the lake. I loved him, so why did I keep stopping us?

  I let his hand wander, drifting up my thigh, pushing my dress up. “I want you, Jaymerson,” he whispered hoarsely in my ear. “Now.”

  The moment he voiced his desire, the paralyzing fear set in.

  He sensed me tense up. “No.” He jerked back, cupping my face. “Don’t do that. I love you. I want to be with you.”

  “I know, but…”

  “Do you love me?” He kept his gaze locked on mine, almost challenging me.

  “Yes.” I nodded. “But I’m still scared.”

  He leaned in, barely a breath away from me. “There is nothing to be afraid of.” He closed the gap, his mouth soft but hungry. “You are the only one I see in my future,” he mumbled against my lips.

  I wasn’t
waiting for marriage or anything, but his words eased the fear our relationship was simply about the challenge of getting in my pants. That once he “conquered” me he’d be gone.

  “I’m completely in love with you, Jaymerson.”

  This time my lips found his, pushing past the anxiety eating at me. Fear would never go away no matter what. I wanted to get beyond it…for Colton.

  He sensed my resolve vanishing, his fingers pushed through my hair, bringing my face closer. His lips quickly moved down my neck, his hands slid my dress straps down my shoulders. My nerves rocketed around inside me, but I willed them still, focusing on his touch. He ripped off his shirt over his head, then pressed himself to me with more vigor.

  This was happening. Tonight I would lose my virginity… Here? At Jason McKee’s guest bedroom, where countless girls had lost theirs?

  “Colton. Wait.” I put a hand to his chest.

  “What?” His brows furrowed in confusion and desperation. “Why?”

  “Not here.” I shook my head. “You were the one who stopped us from doing it in the back of your car. Well, I don’t want to be here. With everyone downstairs.”

  He leaned back on his knees, a frown tugging at his mouth. “I’m all for revisiting the back of my car. I’m definitely okay with it tonight.”

  I laughed, pushed him off, and sat up.

  “Seriously, Jaymerson. You are killing me.” He groaned, flopping on his back. Right then a rap tune sang, vibrating from his jeans. He looked down and grabbed the mobile from his pocket. “Yeah?” He brought the phone to his ear. “What?” He sat up, responding to the caller on the other end. “Now?”

  I stood and straightened my dress, watching Colton’s face line with displeasure.

  “Yeah, okay. I’ll meet you outside.” He hung up.

  “Who was that?” I asked.

  “Hunter,” he replied. He grabbed his shirt and pulled it back on. “He needs to talk to me.”

  “Now?”

  Colton nodded with a huff, his hand dropping to my lower back as he ushered me toward the door.

  “Why?” I let Colton guide me down the hall to the stairs.

  “You know Hunter. Some issue he’s going through.”

  I knew Hunter as well as I would know a distant cousin. Our paths crossed on occasion after the class project together, and being Colton’s twin, I was bound to interact with him. He was unfriendly and abrupt with me, but in the last couple of months, if I did see him, he was an outright jerk. Only because of Colton did I tolerate him. Colton seemed to be constantly running to his aid. I gave him a wide berth. The boy had only two moods: surly and argumentative or silent and brooding.

  “Great.” I sighed. “What did he do now?”

  Colton shrugged and clasped my hand as we reached the bottom. We worked our way through the throng of people toward the front door.

  “Already done?” Jason walked by and bumped Colton’s shoulder. Jason was a few inches shorter than Colton. He was blond and pale like his mom but had his father’s strong square jaw. He was good looking, but in the typical, almost ordinary way. “No wonder she doesn’t look very happy.”

  “Shut up, McKee. I can please my girl just fine,” Colton hollered back. “Think you should be wondering why Savannah dumped you. Again. Maybe you’re not up to par.”

  “No. I’m simply too much to handle.” McKee wiggled his eyebrows at us and spun back to the depths of the party. Colton turned and grabbed the door.

  I understood Colton’s reaction in wanting to appear like we had sex, but it still embarrassed me. We already fought about it once tonight, so I didn’t want to go around over it again.

  The warm September night relieved us a little from the heat inside the house. The full moon shined down, illuminating the circular driveway and the shadows made by the trees lining it.

  Colton jogged down the steps, putting his phone back to his ear.

  The Harris’s house was close, and I knew Hunter would walk over. “I’m here,” a deep voice called from the dark. I jumped, twisting to see a large outline move out of the shadows. His broad shoulders and scruffy appearance gave me an irrational chill.

  “Jeez, Hunter. You trying to be even creepier?” A goofy smile rolled over Colton’s mouth.

  “Just keepin’ it real.” Hunter strolled up, serious where Colton was lighthearted. I could never tell when Hunter was joking. Hunter glanced over at me then looked away with annoyance.

  Yeah, the same to you, I thought.

  Hunter flicked his head for Colton to follow him.

  “I’ll be right back.” Colton squeezed my hand and pulled me into him. He leaned down, his lips meeting mine gently. I thought he would pull away, but instead he kissed me deeper.

  I could feel Hunter watching us. The burning of his stare pricked at my skin. “Any time now,” he snarled.

  I pulled away first, heat rouging my cheeks.

  “Sorry.” Colton grinned, glancing over his shoulder. “Couldn’t help it.”

  Hunter clenched his jaw and gave Colton a pointed look.

  Colton distinguished its meaning, reacted instantly, and joined Hunter on the other side of the driveway. They stood far enough out of earshot, and I could only make out mumbled voices.

  I casually meandered around the drive, appearing to be waiting for them, while I moved in closer. I was curious. Hunter always seemed to be in some trouble. It wasn’t surprising. Drugs. Fights. Reports about being arrested and even rumors about him having a baby with some one-night stand.

  Twin or not, it was amazing how patient and caring Colton was after the countless times his brother called on him to bail him out. Even though Colton was good about never telling me directly about his brother’s personal problems, I could figure some of them out.

  Their voices grew a little more distinct the closer I got.

  “Now? It’s that important?” Colton sighed.

  “Yes.”

  “Can’t you deal with it?” Colton asked, a slight pleading in his tone. “Come on, it’s McKee’s first party of the year. I’m with Jaymerson. Do you really need me?”

  Hunter grunted, irritation thick in his throat.

  “Can’t you leave me out of this, Hunter? I don’t want any part of it.”

  Through the murky shadows I saw Hunter shake his head. “It’s important. You know I wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

  Colton bowed his head in defeat. “Fine.”

  What had Hunter got himself into this time? And what was he involving Colton in?

  Colton took in a huge breath, swiveling around. “Jayme? I’ve got to go.”

  I had overheard but feigned innocence. “What? Where are you going?”

  Colton loped back over to me. “I’m sorry. Hunter needs me.” He thumbed back at the figure. “I can drive you home first.”

  I tilted my head, a stab of anxiety tingling the back of my neck. “You’ve been drinking.”

  “Don’t start.” His shoulders slumped down with aggravation, rolling his eyes. “I’m fine. I had, like, two beers.”

  “No, you had five.” And three Jell-O shots, I thought as I twisted my hands, my feet shifting underneath me.

  “Seriously, Jayme, you need to relax.” He did seem okay. He even balanced on one leg to prove he was in control. “See?” He kissed my forehead quickly before heading for the car.

  “Hey, asshole,” Hunter called out. “You aren’t driving.”

  “Really?” Colton held up his keys, wiggling them around as he opened the car door. “Looks like it to me.”

  “Col-ton,” I called his name, my legs moving toward the car wanting to stop him. The engine fired to life. “Colton!”

  The brake lights ignited, the car squealing as he reversed. Hunter grabbed me, pulling me to the side as the SUV veered around, the driver’s window stopped in front of us.

  “Seriously, both of you need to chill out. Look at me. I’m totally fine.”

  I’d seen him drunk before, and he usually got ro
sy cheeks and turned into a giggly juvenile. Still, I wanted to say no, refuse to let him drive. Instead, I bit my lip. I didn’t want to ruffle feathers or cause another fight between us. I sighed, walked around to the passenger side, and climbed in.

  I knew I could be uptight. Colton was constantly teasing me about my following the rules. I wasn’t a goody-goody, but I didn’t like disappointing or upsetting people. Playing by the rules was simply easier.

  “Colton, come on.” Hunter’s jaw clenched, trying to grab the door handle. “Let me drive.”

  “My car.” Colton rolled the car forward, breaking off Hunter’s hold.

  I clipped on my seatbelt, watching the two brothers.

  “You coming or not?” Colton snarled at Hunter as he lifted his foot off the brake, the car darting forward again. “You’re the one who needs me. I personally would rather stay here partying with my friends or be upstairs, alone with my girl. Actually having fun.”

  Hunter’s gaze darted away, and he rubbed the scruff on his chin. Finally his shoulders sank with defeat, and he climbed into the back of the SUV.

  I caught his gaze as he got in, and I turned away. We both were excellent at pretending the other wasn’t there.

  Colton reached over, switching on the stereo. Hip-hop music erupted out of the speakers, blasting my eardrums with jovial beats.

  “Ugh.” Hunter clasped his hands over his ears. “Turn that shit off.”

  “My car, my music,” Colton said into the rearview mirror, maneuvering the SUV around the horde of parked cars. He pulled onto the private country road. There were no street lamps, but the moon was so dazzling it reflected off the hood, almost blinding me.

  “Seriously. I think my ears are bleeding,” Hunter grumbled from the backseat. My response? I leaned over and turned up the volume. I didn’t care for Colton’s music either, but if it ticked off Hunter, I was all for it.

  Colton smirked, putting one hand in the air for me to high-five. The car swayed to the side of the one-lane road.

  “Fuck, Colton! Watch where you’re going. There’s a cliff straight down there, you know?” Hunter shouted over the song.