Lightness Falling (Lightness Saga Book 2) Read online

  Torin’s shoulders hitched back in defense, his jaw tensing.

  “Tell me I’m wrong. Either one of you.” Lars stared Torin down until the Knight shifted uncomfortably on his feet. Then Lars looked at Thara. Her head dropped forward in defeat.

  “No. You are not,” Torin gritted, sounding furious at his own declaration.

  “Lars, I will appear weak. I can’t hide.” I gripped my fists together, pulling up my tiny frame with resolve.

  An eyebrow curled the King’s forehead up, like he knew some juicy secret I didn’t. “You won’t appear to be hiding to the world. It’s all about appearance, my dear Queen.” His smugness nipped at my annoyance level.

  “What does that mean?”

  “We cancel any public events and meetings, but they will still see you from afar. Press releases… Reassuring people it is business as usual, you are not cowering. Even to the guards and staff.” He clasped his hands together.

  “You mean a stand-in.” Torin’s eyes widened, taking in Lars’s meaning.

  “No. It couldn’t be pulled off,” Thara exclaimed, her hands fisted.

  “What?” My head whipped back and forth between the three. “You mean have some girl who looks like me pretend to be Queen while I go hide?”

  Lars glanced up with a shrug.

  “No!” My head swung vehemently. “No way. I will not put some innocent girl in danger because she happens to resemble me. I no longer hide in my locker when a bully is after me.”

  “Ms. Johnso—”

  “No!”

  Fists came down with a crash on the table as Lars soared to his feet, and his pupils sparked with black.

  “Enough,” he bellowed, causing my body to freeze like I was an animal caught in headlights. “This is not a choice. You have a spy in your castle. The enemy is knocking on the door. You are not safe. And I’m sorry if it upsets you that one person might get hurt, but there are millions who need you alive. There are too many elements against you…both of us. This trip will be a way you can still help, protect, and strengthen international relations. Do not let your ego get in the way, Ms. Johnson. People die for their country, for their leaders, in every war. It is a sacrifice you will have to get used to.”

  I rubbed my face. It wasn’t something I could ever get used to, but I would have to find a way to accept it.

  “Why can’t I just say I’m going to Europe?”

  Lars snorted. Even that sounded elegant and sexy coming from him. “Why don’t you paint a target on your back? A leader away from their territory is even more vulnerable. Here the guards know their terrain, understand exactly what to look for or how to get you to safety the fastest. By stating you are leaving, you would merely be providing an easier target.”

  I saw Torin nod.

  Crap squared.

  “How will it work?” I sighed, lifting my head. “I mean with the staff. People see me all the time around here. They will know it’s not me.”

  “No one, except Torin and Thara, will get really close.” Lars motioned to the soldier. “Because of what happened here, no one will be surprised when you close the ranks tighter. Say it is mandatory while you figure out the infiltrator. Everything goes through them—food, people, gifts, requests.

  “The girl has been watching and training since the moment you took the throne. She will also be glamoured to sound like you. No one from a hundred feet will see any difference.”

  “You’ve been training someone? This whole time?”

  “Yes,” Lars said impassively. “There is not a situation we are not ready for.”

  “Do you have one?”

  “I did.”

  “Did?” My lids lifted higher.

  Lars slanted his head to the side, telling me all I needed to know. The man was one of those sacrifices.

  “What about all my meetings?”

  “You will cancel them.” He shoved one hand into his pocket. “If it’s an emergency, I will step in for you, or we can set up a video chat from wherever you are. They will not know you are not here.”

  Wow. He had thought of everything.

  “To sell this…” Lars’s lashes flicked to Torin. “He must stay here.”

  Torin bolted forward, his thighs knocking into the table. “No. I will not leave my Queen. Where she goes, I go.”

  “That will not be possible.”

  A growl vibrated Torin’s chest, pressing farther over the table. “Where. She. Goes. I. Go.” He seethed, leaning on his arms, challenging the King.

  “Torin.” I tugged on his sleeve. It took several times before he tore his gaze from Lars to me. His muscles flexed under my palms. “It has to be this way. People know you would never leave my side. Neither of you would.” I glanced over at Thara. “It would raise too many questions if you weren’t here. If you left with me, the façade would be blown.”

  “My lady—”

  “It’s an order, Torin,” I said softy, knowing he would never go against me.

  His blue eyes fixed on me, softening as they searched back and forth between mine. “I don’t want to leave you,” he replied hoarsely. “If anything ever happened to you…”

  “I’m going to be fine.” I squeezed his arm in reassurance. “I’m more afraid for those here. For that poor girl. I want you to protect her as fiercely as you protect me. More so. Your job is to keep her safe.”

  Torin continued to stare down at me while different emotions of fear, guilt, anger, and helplessness rolled behind his stone expression. His hand came up and brushed my cheek, moving into my hair and sending tingles where his fingers touched. The intimacy hitched my breath, warmth engulfing my body.

  “You know there isn’t anything I won’t do for you. Whatever you ask, I will never be able to say no,” he whispered. His intensity made my heart race. His aura was full of reds. I still couldn’t decipher how I felt, but I couldn’t deny my heart slammed against my ribs, and not completely in terror. Ryan’s sentiment came back to me. Was it possible to find happiness again? With Torin?

  “Sorry to interrupt this declaration of love…” Lars’s voice was like a chainsaw cutting through blocks of ice. I jumped away from Torin, swinging back to Lars. “Other issues take precedence.”

  “Sorry. Continue.” I cleared my throat, attempting to sound as “queenly” as possible as I tried to ignore Torin’s heated gaze running along the entire side of me.

  “Since I cannot be there, I still refuse to leave her unprotected.” Finally Torin broke away, turning the penetrating energy on Lars. “That is a no-go for me. Her safety is still my number one priority.”

  “I would not dream of leaving the Seelie Queen unprotected.” Lars took his hand out of his pocket, tapping lightly on the table with one finger. “That was never in question. Her safety is the whole point. I took it upon myself to find her the best bodyguard possible. Believe me, he will die without hesitation in the name of the Queen. Maybe even before you would.”

  Torin bristled, his arms folded, his mouth opened to counter Lars’s statement.

  “Who?” I cut in quickly, touching Torin’s arm, my head shaking. He instantly shut his mouth, but his body still prickled.

  Lars’s head swiveled for the door, and energy vacuumed out of the room, like he was drawing something to him.

  Or someone.

  The doorknob twisted as a figure stepped into the room.

  “You summoned?” the man said, his voice filled with snarky derision.

  Oh. God.

  The ground began to dissolve underneath my feet, wobbling my knees. Everything sounded and felt far away. Except for him.

  No. No. No, my head said on repeat, not able to accept the person at the door.

  “What’s wrong, li’l Druid? Doesn’t look like you’re excited to see me.” He lifted his lip with disdain, sounding about as happy as I was seeing him.

  Lorcan. His name alone evoked a powerful reaction inside me, but seeing him standing there, the first time in over a year, I had to lock my
knees to keep from falling to the floor. I didn’t expect such an intense response, but emotions I’d kept buried for so long slipped from the tiny gaps, sizzling up my spine. He brought it all back. All the things I had grown used to shoving away to get through the day: anger, resentment, sorrow, guilt, shame, passion, love, happiness.

  My head spun. I wanted to throw up. I tried to ignore the overwhelming urge to cry. Abhorrence and love pulled so strongly from either side it left me raw and bruised.

  Commotion slowly turned my head to the figure next to me. Torin’s mouth moved, his arms flailing as he shouted, face red, his muscles taut at his neck. I blinked a few times, then like being snapped back into the present, his voice zoomed into my ears with a roar.

  “No! I will NOT have that dark dweller watching over her,” Torin bellowed. “I’d rather a rat-shifter or a brownie be in charge of her protection. Not a fucking Dragen!”

  “Fucking Dragen.” Lorcan smirked, crossing his arms over each other. “Sounds about right. I’m full service with my charges.”

  Oh. No.

  It was barely a moment, but the silence which occupied the room shook with fury.

  “Torin!” I reached for him but it was too late. He scrambled over the table, leaping for Lorcan, fists flying.

  “Torin, don’t!” Thara leaped for him, but the Knight slipped from her fingers.

  “You son of a bitch!” His knuckles crashed into Lorcan’s face, blood spurting out, specks splattering the table as red gushed from the dweller’s nose.

  They both moved so fast my eyes barely caught them. Lorcan lunged for Torin, tackling him on top of the table, their bodies rolling to the ground. The sounds of skin being struck, grunts, and vicious name-calling rebounded off the walls.

  “Stop!” I darted to the end of the table where they were tangled on the floor. “Please stop this now!”

  My glance went to Lars for help. He stared at the ceiling, annoyance twitching at the side of his mouth, like he had to wait for his dinner longer than he wanted.

  “Lars?” I screamed at him.

  “This was going to happen sooner or later. Maybe they’ll get it out of their systems.” He pulled at the bottom of his jacket, fixing it in place.

  Lars appeared little inclined to help. Thara tried to step in, but the two men were set on spilling each other’s blood.

  Frustration rumbled in my chest as I stared at them. Blood, cuts, and bruises covered their faces and hands as they tore into each other. I lifted my hand, the chant coming easily to my lips. Like a hurricane, power flung the two bodies apart, smashing into opposite walls. Their breaths labored, their eyes still locked on each other.

  “How old are you two?” I exclaimed, turning my head to talk to them both. “You’re thousands of years old. Start acting like it. Especially when we have more important things to worry about.”

  “Believe me, Dragen guarding you is something to worry about.” Torin wiped at the red liquid gushing from his nose and cheek with his sleeve. Both eyes were bruised, his lips cut, and his knuckles were shredded like he raked them over a cheese grater.

  “If Kennedy almost getting killed last night is the bar you set, I think I’m overqualified.” Lorcan dabbed at his bloody nose.

  “She is called Majesty. How dare you speak so inform—”

  “Shut up,” I ordered with authority. “That is enough.”

  Both men clenched their jaws, doing as I said, but they didn’t stop glaring at each other.

  “Torin, you have to stay here. There is no getting around that. None of the guards or staff here can know anything is different. All must be treated like suspects right now. We can’t use anyone who would be noticed or missed, even if you trust them. It has to be someone on the outside.” I moved to my Knight, squatting down next to him. He had become one of my best friends. I needed him to understand.

  “I don’t like this any more than you do, but if Lars is convinced Lorcan will be the best guard for me, then I have to accept it. We’ve got far more important things to deal with. This entire kingdom is holding on by a thread. People’s lives... I need you here. Guard this girl like you would guard me. Can you do that?”

  His head jolted to mine in shock I would even ask. Slowly, his fingers reached up, touching my jawbone. “You know I would do anything for you.”

  A low growl pulsated from the other side of the room, vibrating against my back as though a small child had smacked me. A stubborn, bullheaded one.

  I moved away from Torin and stood up.

  “Thank you, Torin. You, Castien, and Thara are the only ones I can trust right now.”

  Thara gave me a small nod and looked to Torin.

  Torin pushed himself up the wall, standing at full height.

  “I am at your service, my lady.” He bowed his head. At a snort from over my shoulder I flipped around to the other problem child. I was being honest with Torin that I didn’t want Lorcan around. There were too many things he stirred up; things I didn’t even want in the pot. I was just starting to believe I could move on. To heal and be happy. Now, being this close, I could feel it all unraveling. Lorcan only reminded me why I should hate myself. And hate him.

  I marched over to the dweller; a sneer edged the side of his split lip. The blood had stopped pouring from his nose, but a trail dried above his top lip, one eye at half-mast.

  “This is the last thing I want.” I put my hands on my hips, hating the way his smug grin easily tipped me off kilter. “But this is not about what I want. My people come first—”

  “Always the giver, aren’t you?” He winked. “Well, except with me…damn woman. You took and took, begging for more.”

  My cheeks flushed, anger easily coating the chagrin flooding my body. My foot jetted out, kicking his leg. “Dammit, Lorcan. Can’t you for one moment be serious? Do you look at anything like it’s not a joke?”

  He stood up, his figure rising over mine, leaving only an inch between us. “You don’t think I take shit seriously?” he rumbled, his mouth so close air halted in my lungs. His nose flared, and anger burned behind every word. “I know life is far from a fucking joke…”

  It was instantaneous. The familiar scent, the warmth of him saturating me, twisting my mind in a pool of lust. That connection I loved to despise flamed back, like it had been simmering under the surface for over a year.

  And I hated it.

  I squeezed my lids shut, my limbs trembling at his nearness. No! You will not do this to yourself again. Keep this business. Only.

  The collection of hurt and fury I kept locked away was cracking open. I knew if it broke, wrath would rain down, burning all of us up. My lids flew open, and I inhaled deeply, stepping back. “We keep the past where it is. We deal with the situation and get home,” I stated firmly.

  “Sounds good to me,” he snarled and turned for the door.

  “Where are you going?”

  “The abundance of memos and lists I am sure you will be sending my way will let me know all I need without wasting the next few hours regurgitating the same shit.” He swung through the door, letting it slam shut behind him. The crackle of the fire in the glass bulbs above our heads was the only noise in the room for over a minute.

  Lars let out a chuckle, and I jerked to look at him, wondering what in the world he could find amusing. He grabbed a chair, pulled it out, and sat down, his head shaking.

  “What?”

  His gaze lifted to mine. “I will be honest. I wasn’t entirely sure I had made the right decision in calling on Mr. Dragen, but now I know.”

  “That you made a huge mistake.” I nodded, waiting for him to join me. “We hate each other, and we’ll probably kill each other before sundown?”

  “Quite the opposite, Ms. Johnson.” His eyebrow curved up with smugness. “I couldn’t have picked any better.”

  SEVEN

  “I don’t like this, my lady.” Torin stood in my room, watching me stuff some clothes in a bag. Lots of dark items with hoods.

>   “Torin, we’ve been over this.” I brushed past him, heading into my closet, if that’s what you wanted to call it. The former royalty had closets the size of my entire house growing up. It was a waste of space for me and most of it was empty now, cleared out of anything belonging to Aneira. The entire castle had been gutted of her, but I still felt the presence of the former Seelie Queen slithering in the walls, embedded in the precise stone of its foundations. Eventually I wanted to redesign the structure, put my own stamp on it, and banish everything reminding me of the war, of all the people’s blood soaking the land. But that had to be low on my priority list.

  “I still feel the need to say it again. I think this is a mistake.” Torin trailed behind me like a puppy, emanating a mix of frustration and nervousness in me. I privately agreed with him, but the plan was set. There was no going back now.

  Torin’s hand touched my elbow, stopping me in my tracks. He never said how he felt, but the implications of his feelings were like spiderwebs, invisible, snaring me when I walked into them. “Lorcan Dragen has proven himself over and over to be a deceitful, narcissistic…and excuse my language, my Queen…but an asshole.”

  A dark laugh burst off my tongue. I couldn’t argue with those descriptions. But there was so much more to Lorcan Dragen. Good and bad. The man’s layers were so secret and complex. He was an enigma I had attempted to solve, but each time I tried, I only discovered another level.

  I was sure Torin sensed something had happened between us but wasn’t privy to exactly what. He was better off not knowing. If he knew what actually went on, how Lorcan unlocked something inside me, challenged me, opened me up, and gave me so many orgasms my body couldn’t be held by gravity—yeah, he was better off not knowing. And I was better not remembering.

  Keep that door closed, Ken.

  “I’m not kidding.” Torin grabbed my arm, spinning me to face him, his expression a mosaic of worry and severity. “I don’t trust him.” He grabbed my other arm, drawing me closer to him, my body responding to his abruptness. My heart climbed up the back of my throat, blocking my oxygen.