Ascending From Madness Read online

  “Guess you’re the kind to take a child away from his loving father because of a hurt ego,” I retorted brusquely.

  “Me?” She motioned to herself, her eyebrows curving up. “You are the one who will end up taking Timothy away. And he will hate you for it. Either way, I win.” She tipped her head. “He wants nothing to do with you, so stop making an embarrassment of yourself.”

  “Is that what he said? He wants nothing to do with me?” I couldn’t explain the desperation to fight for him. Nothing had happened, nor did I have a clue how he actually felt about me. But something so profound was between us; I couldn’t walk away. I knew that.

  “See for yourself.” She twirled her hand to the second-story window above us.

  Matt stood in the window, staring down at me with a stony expression, his jaw locked firmly. His gaze met mine. Our eyes were locked for two full beats, expressing things I didn’t understand before his lids closed and he abruptly turned…walking away. From me. From us.

  Emotion thickened my throat, my lashes batting back the betrayal and unexplainable hurt.

  Jessica’s smile widened.

  Stupid Alice, when will you ever learn people, especially men, only deceive and hurt you?

  A strange sensation came over me that I had thought this before, said the same thing when he saved his own ass and threw me to the wolves, going back to her. But how could that be true?

  “Still a shame. I liked you much better than his first. You have so much power, Alice. Very unique. And I thank you for getting us here. I was not expecting it from you.” Her gaze roamed over me with disgust and curiosity. “But now you are simply a thorn in my side. Too much temptation for him.”

  “What are you talking about?” She was the one muttering nonsense now.

  Her focus zeroed in on me, and I felt a pressure cram into my head, like shoving a sleeping bag back into the tiny bag. A cry came from my throat. I gripped my head, and my eyes slammed shut.

  It dissolved as fast as it came, and I opened my eyes. I was all alone. Jessica was no longer in front of me. An alarm in the back of my mind was telling me I should wonder why, but it never made it to the surface. A spark out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. To the side of the house, a small red light flickered, being carried by the deer-man I had seen a few days ago. Only wearing a pair of brown cargo pants, his bare chest gleamed with the red light, his stomach rippled with muscle. His antlers swiveled to me; his large ears pointed in my direction. Santa’s sleigh, he was more beautiful than I remembered.

  A slow smile crept up his mouth. “You coming, Alice? We’re going to be late.”

  “Late?” I asked.

  “Hurry. We are very, very late,” he said and twisted back, leaping down the street. Nothing around me was important anymore. Only the desire to follow him. A need I couldn’t seem to control. I could hear the clock ticking in my head, flaming the demand that time was running out. I had to follow him.

  “Wait!” I called after him, my boots crunching across the snow as I ran after him.

  He twisted, regarding me again before darting deeper down a side trail leading to the woods, springing forward with determination.

  “Deer-man, wait!” I didn’t think and sprinted faster, frantic not to lose him. Curving and zigzagging, I tried to keep up with the red light darting along the dark trees. A strange fear that they would reach out for me or start talking picked at the muscles in my legs, pumping them faster. I weaved through the woods, glimpsing the red light before it disappeared again.

  “Alice! Please…” a voice cried out for me, echoing off the trees. “We need you.”

  “Ms. Alice…hurry.”

  “Come back now!”

  “Alice, hurry before it’s too late.”

  “I’m trying. I’m trying.” I fumbled in the slush but righted myself, trying to get to the voices, each one stabbing urgency and pain through my heart.

  My boots caught on a log, and I face-planted into the snow with a thud. Exhaustion snapped my bones like I had been running for days, and I struggled to get up. The desperation in the voices grew more frantic, becoming so gut-wrenching and painful it stripped at my skin and mind. Shutting my eyes, my hands went to my ears, and I curved into a ball.

  I started to scream.

  And scream.

  Chapter 9

  “Alice? Oh my god… Alice!” Hands fell on me, and I swung and kicked at the touch, feeling so raw I thought I was going to crack. My wails still ringing sharply through the air, burning my throat.

  “Alice. Stop.” The recognizable voice splintered my lids, and I glanced up at my father’s face. Swirling red and blue lights flickered off my parents’ forms as they hunched over me, highlighting the terror etched on their features. Tears streamed down my mother’s face as my dad pinned down my arms so I couldn’t move.

  What the hell?

  Lifting my head off the pavement, I glanced around. EMTs were climbing out of the ambulance, a cop car was parked right behind as neighbors wearing bathrobes and slippers hovered on their lawns, watching the drama play out. I was right in front of my house…

  My brain couldn’t understand. No forest. No voices calling for me. I was in the middle of the street in front of my house. It had all been in my head. Blinking back my own tears, I lowered my head back down. Dark emotions filled my head. Humiliation. Shame. Fear. Anger.

  “Let us through.” A female EMT bumped past my mother. “What happened? Is this your daughter?”

  “Yes,” Dad answered, still holding my arms down. “She’s not been well.”

  “She was getting better, Lewis.”

  “No, she wasn’t, Carroll,” he snapped, his temper on the fringe. “She was getting worse, and you know it.”

  Mom nodded, her hands covering her face.

  “What’s her name?” the woman asked, pointing a flashlight into my pupils.

  “Alice,” Dad replied.

  “Alice? Can you hear me?”

  I glared up at her. Seriously?

  “Alice. I want to hear you answer.”

  “Yes,” I snarled. “I can fuckin’ hear you. I’m not deaf.” I wiggled under my dad’s hold. “Let go.” He hesitated before easing back like if he did, I would burst into a rabid animal.

  Commotion whirled around me, my head aching. It thumped with a shattering pain, as if someone had been inside drilling.

  “Can someone tell me what happened?”

  “She woke up the entire neighborhood screaming and chasing after something that wasn’t there,” the guy who lived across the street spat out. “I called the cops… I mean, she was acting completely insane… like she was on something.”

  “You on any drugs?” the EMT asked, shining the light into my eyes again as another one moved in where my father was. “Molly, special-k, coke—”

  “She’s on an antipsychotic,” Mom answered. “That’s it.”

  The woman turned to her partner, both giving each other a look of oh, she’s legitimately crazy.

  “Ms. Liddell is under my care. I’m her doctor.” Jessica’s voice came over me, her figure stepping up, slamming loathing through me that clogged my throat. She. Did. This. I felt it in every fiber of my being. Somehow, she had caused my hallucination. “However, her mind is deteriorating so quickly, the drugs I have her on aren’t helping anymore.”

  Shoving everyone back, I got to my feet. “You fucking bitch!” I screamed, lunging for her. “You are doing this to me. I know you are.”

  Dad and the EMTs grabbed for me, holding me back.

  “Let go! She’s the one. I was fine until she started me on those pills. She is doing this to me.”

  “Ms. Liddell, you need to calm down.” The male cop stepped in, holding up his palms. “Just take a breath.”

  “No!” I yelled, struggling against the hold on me, my arms pinned behind my back. Staring at Jessica smirking at me, I had another impression of being here with her before. Images of me being held captive while she st
ripped all power away from me. “I’m not crazy! But she’s making people think I am.”

  “Alice…” Mom’s expression splintered with agony. “Don’t do this, sweetie. You know you’re not healthy right now.”

  “Mom, please believe me,” I pleaded. “You just met her. Don’t take her word over mine. Please, listen to me. She somehow has you completely under her spell.”

  Yule log scones. The moment I uttered the phrase a connection snapped in my brain like a puzzle.

  The syrupy creamer.

  Was it possible?

  My whole family was addicted to it. I wouldn’t be surprised if all my neighbors were as well. I had no idea how she was doing it, how it was even feasible, but my gut just knew—she was controlling their minds with it.

  “Isn’t it strange since she showed up and started me on those drugs, I’ve gotten worse? She’s hurting me, Mom. Please see this!”

  Mom turned away, her shoulders shaking as she held her grief back.

  “Alice.” Dad shook his head, pity twisting his mouth.

  “Jesus. She has you all in her trance.” My head whipped around, catching my sister standing not too far off, exhibiting the identical expression as my parents. “It’s the syrup. I don’t know what she puts in it, but she is brainwashing you guys.” The words shot from my mouth, and even I knew how crazy it sounded, but I couldn’t stop.

  Everyone stared at me silently, their stances stiffening. Dad started crying, which was like a thousand cuts slicing my heart. “Jessica told us this might happen.” He croaked through a sob, wiping his eyes. “I can’t believe this is materializing.”

  I knew what Jessica said. She set me up perfectly. Anything I said… I would sound like the crazy one. Nothing I said would be taken seriously. And maybe I was insane, but I wasn’t wrong about her.

  “Lewis, you know it’s the last thing I want, but after this, I must insist you take the recommendation I made earlier on the phone seriously.” Recommendation? What the hell had she talked to them about? “Look around.” Jessica motioned to the disturbance around us. “Alice is no longer safe—from herself.”

  “Fuck. You.” I tried to leap back to her, my teeth bared, but I was yanked back. “You are loving this, aren’t you? Why? Because your husband would rather be around me? Smoke himself into an oblivion so he can forget he’s married to you? A callous, ice-cold bitch?”

  A gasp burst through the neighbors who were watching.

  A nerve flinched in her cheek, acting for the audience like what I said hurt her, but I knew better. Her smugness multiplied. I had no idea how, but everything going on with me was because of her. She had orchestrated it all. And now I looked like the scorned fanatical lover going after another woman’s husband, while she played the honorable victim.

  I could see it in all their eyes: the ridicule, pity, and judgement.

  “I’ve known you my whole life. But I’m the one you turn on immediately,” I yelled out at the crowd. “Seriously?”

  None of them moved, their eyes wide, hungry for the spectacle. My brain tickled with a vision, a group of people staring at me the same way, licking their lips for my head, zombies under her control.

  “She has you all in her web. Don’t you see it? Or all you see is the crazy one in her natural habitat? Well, I hope you enjoyed the show. The zoo’s closed. You can go home now.” I threw up my arms, hating how the neighbors ate this up without question. Tossing out years of knowing me and my character and standing behind her.

  “Alice, please. You’re only making this worse.” My mom’s touch flicked my eyes to her, allowing me to slowly gaze around at all the faces staring at me. From horror to pity, the neighbors stared at me like I was the freak in the circus. “We love you so much. We want you to get better.” She gripped dad’s arm as he gave her a little nod. “We will do whatever it takes to help you.”

  Damn… that word again.

  “What are you talking about?” I could feel it, whatever decision they had been contemplating was firmed in their mind.

  “You need to be somewhere safe. Somewhere with people who can truly help you heal and get healthy again.”

  My world tipped on its axis, acid scorching my stomach. “Noooo,” I whispered.

  “I’m sorry, Alice.” A few more tears slid down Dad’s face. “We don’t want to do this. But it’s for the best. For your safety.”

  “Y-you’re sending me to an insane asylum?” I screeched, looking back at my sister for help. She only buried her face in her hands, crying.

  Instinct had me search around for Matt. He understood me. Knew this was wrong. But his absence just solidified the feeling. I was utterly alone.

  “I’ll set everything up,” Jessica said sweetly to my parents. “All you need to do is be there for your daughter. We can do the paperwork in the morning.” She stood there, cool and collected, offering my parents hollow condolences, while her eyes glinted with triumph.

  Seven maids a-milking! She had this all ready to go, as if she were expecting this outcome tonight.

  “Officer, I don’t think she will come willingly.” Jessica batted her eyes at the officer, and he quickly nodded, reaching for me.

  “Wait. I don’t think that’s necessary.” My dad frowned, but the cop clutched my arm, pulling me away from them.

  “You bitch,” I seethed at Jessica as I fought against his grip.

  She leaned into me like she was hugging me. “Don’t challenge me, Alice,” she muttered maliciously. “As I told you before, I am ruler here, and there is only room for one.”

  I stiffened at her familiar words. Shit. I knew she didn’t like me, but it was more than that. She was pointedly after me.

  The cop yanked me back, dragging me to the car, not caring if any of this was even legal. She had them all bamboozled. And the more I tried to suggest she was the evil one, the crazier I sounded.

  Stuffed into the cop car, the lights flicking off the window, she smirked at me while Dad, Mom, and Dinah stood behind her, huddled together.

  Checkmate.

  Well played. I stared at her. But I’m coming for you, bitch. Count on that.

  She thought she took out a pawn, but I was going to remove the queen.

  As an adult you have this delusion you are in control of your life. Decisions are yours to make.

  How easily that can be stripped away.

  Staring down at my hands, my torn nails dug into my palms, the scratchy material of the light-cornflower blue scrubs they put me in was a constant reminder I wasn’t dreaming. My life had taken a sharp turn, swerving out of my control in the wrong direction.

  “Alice, do you understand?” A small, plump doctor sat on the other side of his desk. His round, rosy cheeks and stubby nose flared anger through me. He looked like the poster boy for gluttony, shoving food down his gullet while his piggy eyes narrowed on me.

  “Alice? Do you understand what the doctor has said?” Dad brushed my tangled hair away from my drooping head. My parents sat on either side of me and gripped my arms so I couldn’t bolt and run.

  Escaping was the last thing I was capable of doing. The drugs they had injected to “calm me down” left me nothing more than a sleepwalker, a shell in my own skin. I had been quite upset when dumped off here in the middle of the night, reasonably enough. They acted like I was at a level-ten freak-out because I kept asking questions, challenging their authority, asking to see the person in charge, wondering how any of this was even legal. It was as if we stepped back into the 1800s or 1900s when a husband would consider any outburst from his wife an insane act and toss them in the nuthouse without question or proof. She could have been upset he was cheating or being a dickhead, but the institution would take the man’s word, and the wife’s life was destroyed. Her word meaning nothing, no way to fight for herself.

  We weren’t much more advanced today.

  One of the many faceless nurses stabbed a needle in my arm, my body instantly going lax. After that I was a robot, staring off int
o the world as if I were no longer part of it, though my mind still understood what was going on.

  Mindlessly, I changed my dirty, wet clothes into a prison-looking outfit and sat on my single stiff bed as the sun came through the single window, listening to other patients waking up. Screams and mutters echoed down the corridor, a few curious wards hovered at my door, but I just stared at my hands, waiting for my parents to show up and realize this wasn’t the place for me.

  Two hours after the sun rose, they did show up, but it wasn’t to take me home. It was to sign the paperwork, giving the institution full rights to treat me. My dad was the one who seemed a little unsure.

  “Doctor Cane, I want to be clear how you will be treating my daughter. This seems a little excessive.” Dad motioned to the bars on the outside of the windows. “I mean, this place feels like a jail. It’s kind of extreme for Alice.”

  “Mr. Liddell, I understand your concern. The bars are merely an extra precaution.” Dr. Cane shifted in his seat, his belly knocking into the desk. “But from what I’ve learned from Dr. Winters, Alice needs this place to handle all her needs.”

  “Lewis.” My mom peered over my head at her husband. “If Jessica says this is the best place for her, then I fully support whatever they will do to help. You promised me.”

  My lips curled into a snarl at her name. Fucking Jessica Winters. Only a week of knowing this woman and she had more power over me, over my parents, than we did of ourselves.

  “I remember, Carroll, but I don’t know…” He shook his head, eyes filling with tears. “This seems so fast and severe; don’t you think?”

  “We said whatever it takes,” she muttered to him like I couldn’t hear her, even though I sat in the middle of them. “She could have gotten killed tonight or hurt someone. We are not capable of watching her twenty-four seven.”