Beauty In Her Madness (Winterland Tale Book 3) Read online

My eyes stopped on the two boys, taking them in, suddenly seeing them as men. My swirling head plunked gumdrops down my gut like bombs. Memories exploded, shattering the box I had locked up and buried deep, drowning my mind in a thousand lost images.

  The little girl took off running, the dark-haired boy chasing, easily catching up to her. He picked her up, whispering something in her ear. Her laugh filled the air. “Christmas tinsel! Put me down, Jack! Blaze, help!”

  The names punched me in the chest, crashing my ass into the sand, my head spinning so fast I couldn’t breathe or move. My dreams and reality collided, mixing and churning, becoming one and the same.

  “Oh, ginger snap…” Blackness crept into my vision, and heat flushed my system, sweat instantly trailing down my back. I wiped my head, but more and more heat bubbled up.

  What I thought were nightmares of Christmas icons kidnapping me when I was little were true. Well, some of it. They had never kidnapped me. I had come here willingly…to play with them.

  What my older self chalked up to make-believe and imagination was true. Everything seemed clear as my sight darkened.

  Jack Frost. Blaze.

  Snow. Heat.

  The Miser brothers.

  I felt I was burning up from the inside out. The need to tear off my clothes and jump in the water compelled my body to move, but at the same time I felt frozen in place, falling onto my back instead.

  I stared up at the dimming blue sky, a thundercloud rolling by.

  Pe-cul-iar, I thought as a sandman leaned over me, blackness absorbing me, his seashell smile widening. “Merry Christmas to all…and to all a good night.”

  Then nothing.

  “Dinah…” My name brought me to awareness. Blinking, confusion and fear jolted my head around, my lungs inhaling at the desolate strange landscape.

  This was definitely not my bedroom or even the crazy Christmas beach where I had been a moment ago.

  “Now I know I must be dreaming.” But terror still coated my skin. The sensation of deep sorrow pressed against my chest as I watched a stuffed bear head float by me, its creepy smile chilling my soul. But there seemed to be an odd understanding, a feeling that I was no longer connected to anything either, and in the next breath, I’d float away into nothing.

  The place was nothing I could ever dream of. No sun, moon, or stars, though it felt like you were outside. The atmosphere was completely dark above me, but light glowed from the air and ground below. Snow twinkled under my feet.

  Toys and games, large and small, all looking broken and dejected floated, with soft cries and whimpers, each ripping at my heart. A small, mangled stuffed kitten hovered around me. The once white fur was gray and matted, the snowflake-shaped name tag barely hanging on, the name Snowball scarcely visible. As it skimmed past, I got a flash of a memory—a boot smashing it into the snow and abandoning it there. It cried to be found, but it was left to be forgotten.

  They all had sob stories. Each one whispered into my head how they were left and abandoned. Tossed out and pushed aside. The toys mourned their old lives and owners. Angry and heartbroken, they were locked in a graveyard of the forsaken, pulling me down with them. Their thoughts and pain shoved into my mind, pushing my own out.

  “Dinah, come to me.” A voice glided into my ear, and my feet moved forward as if I had no say in the matter, my brain no longer mine to control.

  Toys knocked into me as I moved, their stories dropping me to my knees in grief and hurt, a cry howling from my lips. Each one felt as though they ripped out a part of my soul, making me forget.

  What was my name? Why was I here? My mind spun, trying to find logic and understanding, but none came, spiraling more fear and confusion through me.

  I’m disappearing… I stared down at my hands as if they would fade in front of me.

  “So, there is another one.” A creepy high-pitched voice slithered into my head, and I jerked my head around to see an old-fashioned doll with one eye missing. The other eye rolled around its cracked porcelain face framed with matted brown hair. Its white dressing gown had gone yellow with age.

  Evil. It was all I knew and understood.

  “Yes, you have that extra muchness too. Maybe even more so because you keep it hidden away. Protected. But I can taste it. Want it. The other one tricked me. Got away. You will not.” Her horror, movie-ready appearance floated closer to me, a gang of rough-looking toys behind her, their energy vibrating with hate, fury, revenge, and death.

  “Get her!” The doll pointed her finger, the rush of toys behind her coming for me.

  Holy roasting nuts! Panic tapped the back of my neck. Leaping back on my feet, I took off, my legs pumping. I heard their shouts and hollers right behind me, instinct pushing me on.

  Time didn’t exist. The concept of why or how didn’t enter my head. I ran until the air shifted, chilling my skin, another strange heaviness bearing down on me.

  Everything was quiet.

  Their cries for me dissolved, and I twisted to see them. They were all lined up several feet back behind barricade I could not see—one they were not venturing past.

  “Dinah,” a voice called to me, returning my attention forward, my feet moving to the caller. Lights blinked around me like a thousand fireflies, various emotions causing a tear to slip down my cheek. I could feel it all. Every varying degree of grief, guilt, heartache, love, hate, jealousy, and concern.

  “Come to me, Dinah,” the voice called again, leading me down the path, the flutter of lights blinking in frantic repetition, almost as if they were trying to warn me. It felt as if they were trying to block my way, but nothing entered my head except to follow the voice.

  My jingle-belled shoes stopped at a tree. A black box tied with thick rope sat there like a present; the roots of the tree were starting to wrap around it, knotting around the box.

  “It’s for you, my dear. Open it.” The strong feminine voice coiled in my ear. “You are so special, Dinah. You will restore all that’s been lost. Change the past, present, and future.”

  Lowering, I reached for the box, but the roots sensed me and tightened around it. The lights soaring around me flashed brighter, a frenzied warning, telling me to stop.

  “Ignore them. They are fools. Weak. It’s you who has the power. You work so hard. Just take me with you and you will have all you desire.”

  My finger brushed the black package, and the roots recoiled at my touch, a strong pulse zapping up my arm.

  Danger. Powerful. Evil.

  “Dinah,” a man’s deep voice shouted in the distance, turning my head. I recognized the voice, the name he called tugging on a thread in my brain. “Dinah, wake up.” His voice felt like it was coming from everywhere. Above and around. Standing up, I needed to follow it. Whatever it was, I had to be near it. In that moment, it was my only anchor.

  “No!” A woman’s voice hissed in my ear. “Don’t listen to anyone but me, Dinah. Open the box. Let me free. You singularly have the gift, Dinah. Your destiny led you here. To fight by my side.”

  “Dinah?” Dinah, yes! That was my name, wasn’t it? He called again, his voice stronger, letting me latch on to it, twine around the cords he dropped down from the sky, pulling me back up. “Open your eyes. Wake up.”

  I nodded, wanting to do nothing more. The atmosphere blurred around me, growing hazy, and I followed the voice.

  “Nooooo!” Blistering anger seized me like a snapping crocodile, but I shut my eyes and let my body float up, the voice yanking me through the darkness to light.

  Chapter 9

  “She’s burning up,” a deep voice rumbled. Something both warm and cool touched my face, causing a gurgling noise to rise from my throat. It felt heavenly, stripping away the fire still smoldering under my skin. “What the fuck did you give her?” His voice continued to bring me up from my grave. My lids felt so heavy, my body limp and hot. I wanted to sink back down and lose myself in the forgotten.

  “Nothing! She had a cranberry colada.” Another man spoke,
light and warm. “Two, actually. Sucked those down like Mrs. Cratchit does with my dic—”

  “Stop. Right now.” The voice was angry. Violent. Dangerous. My body reacted to his baritone, like thunder on the horizon. Terrifying, but it also made me feel awake and alive.

  “You too, huh?” Another small voice added, like one you’d hear in a cartoon. “That woman is like a penguin ingesting a fish.”

  “In your case, it would be a tadpole.” The second guy laughed.

  “Enough. Both of you. As if I didn’t have enough images I needed to drown.” The man’s raspy voice made me want to reach out, wrap myself in his timbre. “This isn’t from alcohol. What did you put in her drink?”

  “Doesn’t matter. What were you even doing there anyway?”

  “Blaze…” A threat lay under the name. Hate.

  Blaze. Yes, I remembered him.

  “Fine. Quin puts a little holly extract in it. At a low dosage it acts like a hallucinogenic.”

  “Think I need to pay this Quin a visit,” the small voice muttered, sounding close to my ear, something poking into my ribs. “Look at her outfit. She’s a little big for an elf, though. Or is this some kinky role-playing? Spank the elf?”

  “Dor, shut up,” the deep voice rumbled, sighing heavily. “Holly’s a poison, Blaze.”

  “I see you still have a frozen ice pick up your ass, brother.”

  “Better than a head full of sand, brother.” Once again the sensation of warmth on my skin, but cooling against the heat in my body, moved over my cheek, producing a groan from me. “Wake up, Dinah,” he demanded.

  It was not a suggestion.

  My lids popped open. Blinking, I could see the brilliant night sky straight above me, white-tipped trees surrounding me, but it was the two faces hovering over me that took all my attention as I lay in the fluffy snow.

  One was dark, rough like a storm, with icy blue eyes and the other light like sunshine, with seafoam-green irises.

  “Butter my Christmas roll…” My lips parted. Opposites, but both so stunning and sexy, I struggled to look directly at them, as if they could burn me to ash.

  While Blaze was still in his bright red swim trunks, the other wore dark jeans, boots, and a sweater. Fire and ice.

  “She’s fine. I think it helped loosen her up. You should try it.” Blaze lifted his lip in a hateful snarl at the other man. “Although you have never known what fun actually is.”

  Jack Frost. I now saw the boy in the man. The same eyes that used to feel like they were peeling away my skin, digging into my soul.

  They still did.

  “So, tell me… This is a kink thing, huh?” A six-inch mouse dropped down from Jack’s arm to my stomach, motioning to my outfit. “Please, please tell me this is some kink thing.”

  “Hot fudge in my stocking.” I gaped at the talking, gray mouse standing on me dressed in a battered top hat and red coat.

  “You’ve played that game too? Though I call it Cream the Cinnamon Rolls, but whatever,” he replied with a shrug. “Didn’t think it as my thing at first, but, hey, I’m willing to give anything a chance or two…maybe three.” The mouse winked at me. “So how do you eat fish? Suck them down whole?”

  “Dor.” Jack rubbed his face, plucking the mouse off me and putting him back on his shoulder. “Stop.”

  “What?” he exclaimed. “Just a question. Totally innocent.”

  “Nothing is innocent about you.”

  “That’s true.” Dor clicked his finger, winking at me again.

  “Some days I think it was better when you were drunk all the time,” Jack muttered, turning back to me, grumbling. “You all right?”

  “Yeah…I think.” I pushed myself up. “Where are we?” I peered around. “How long have I been out? What happened to the beach?”

  “You passed out. Been out for several hours now. He demanded we carry you here to bring down your temperature.” Blaze helped me to my feet as Jack stepped back. “Though, I personally thought you were fine where you were.”

  “She was overheating.” Jack’s jaw tightened, his arms folding, animosity tightening his shoulders. “From poison.”

  “It’s not poison in small dosages,” Blaze snapped back, loathing wrinkling his nose.

  “Coming from the person who sniffed cinnamon all the time to get a buzz.”

  “Father Christmas, you are such a tight-ass prick.” Blaze stomped toward Jack. “Again, why were you even there? Strange that after so long you suddenly reappear when she does.” He pushed at Jack’s chest, barely moving him. Jack was taller and had broader shoulders than his brother.

  Jack wasn’t this crisp, clean guy you pictured when you thought of cold and ice. He was dangerous and untamed, like a turbulent snowstorm. A wild animal under the clothes.

  “Go back to your stone castle, alone and isolated. No one wants you.” Blaze shoved harder at his brother.

  “Alone?” Dor’s rolled his tiny hands, standing higher on Jack’s shoulder. “What do you call me? Or the big guy?”

  “Pets,” Blaze shot back.

  I saw Frost’s eyes flicker with anger, muscles in his neck tensing.

  Oh shit.

  “Jack, no!” My reaction was instant, jumping between them, my palms pressing into his chest. Jack sucked in sharply, his eyes darting to my hand then up to me, rage thundering in his eyes, but he didn’t move.

  Holy mistletoe…

  “Oooooo,” Dor squeaked, his eyes going wide, his fear spearing through me.

  My gaze went back to Jack, feeling his chest expand under my palm, radiating with anger.

  “Do. Not. Ever. Call. Me. That. Again.” Abhorrence vibrated off him, his eyes flashing. He stepped closer, his mouth a hair from mine. “Jack is dead.”

  I swallowed, my heart thumping at my breastbone.

  “When I torture you, you will cry out Frost,” he rumbled, puffs of air trailing down my neck. “I want to hear you say it.”

  My breath stuck in my throat, keeping my jaw shut.

  “Say it,” he growled.

  “Frost.” It came out much breathier than I wanted, but something about him terrified me. He was not the boy on the beach anymore.

  “Get the fuck off her.” Blaze tried to shove him.

  “Stop, both of you!” I twisted, getting fully between them, pushing them back. My hands curved around taut muscles, their ripped torsos flexing under my touch. I could appreciate a toned body, but it had never been important to me. Scott didn’t have any definition, and it never bothered me, though I should stop the spark of desire flaming through me now, the need to explore, to feel every muscle and dip in their physiques. Feel their heat moving in on me, responding to my touch.

  I swallowed back the impulse, peering between them, my focus not able to stay on Frost long. Everything about him was intense, raw, rugged, while Blaze was warm, inviting, easy. “Can we not do this right now? I’m holding on to my sanity by a thread.”

  “Then let go.” Blaze’s eyebrows curved up at me. “You belong with me here anyway.”

  Like a hum of a motorcycle, Frost’s growl vibrated against me, my thighs clenching. He pushed against my hand.

  “Don’t tell me. You want her? Shocker,” Blaze sneered, both men stepping into me, while Dor bared his teeth at Blaze.

  “I don’t want things like a child.” Frost’s stomach moved under my touch. My hand slipped down his sweater, landing at the top of his jeans and curling around the button. A need I never felt before, to slide my fingers underneath to touch him, ignited icy heat down my vertebrae. His voice rumbled in my ear, “I take.”

  “Like you always do.” Blaze scowled, his chest bumping my shoulder.

  “Fuck you,” Frost growled.

  “You are the reason Mom is gone.” Blaze rolled his shoulders back. “The reason Dinah left us too!”

  Frost snarled with lashing vehemence, lurching at his brother.

  “Whoa, whoa! Both of you stop!” I slammed my hands into them. “I’m
not some toy you can…” I drifted off, something triggering a memory of my fevered dream.

  Toys…

  Broken. Lost.

  An island of misfit toys.

  “What?” Frost’s voice drew my attention back to him. The memories tore at my skin, wanting in, to see my thoughts.

  “I don’t know. I had this crazy dream about toys attacking me.” I shook my head. Could you have a dream within a dream? “They were everywhere, broken and forgotten.”

  “What?” Frost stepped back, his shoulders rising, lifting Dor.

  “They were so sad, angry. Heartbroken. As I went deeper, they stopped following me, and I went to this other place...” There was a gap in my memory—a blank spot in my mind after walking away from the toys.

  “No. There’s no way.” Blaze shook his head, his eyes on his brother. “She was here the whole time.”

  “Her mind wasn’t.” Frost’s tone coated my body in ice.

  “She wouldn’t be able to even recall her name if she went there. It would have shredded her.”

  “Maybe she had no sanity left to destroy?” Dor shrugged. “I mean, look at her outfit. She’s not totally sitting on her rocker.”

  “How is it possible she went there?” Blaze ignored Dor, his question pointed at his brother.

  “Better question, brother, is why was she there?”

  “Where?” I flipped between them. “What are you guys talking about?”

  “The Land of the Lost and Broken.” Frost’s gaze leveled with mine. “A place where you go in and don’t come out. Not sane, anyway.”

  “What he means, frosted flake, is if you came out of there, you’d be barking into your ass right now.” Dor motioned to me. “A cooked goose.”

  I opened my mouth to respond when pain cracked across my skull. “Ow!” I yelped, my hand going to the sting at the back of my head, looking around. “What was tha—?” A chestnut knocked hard into my shoulder, drawing my eyes up to where it came from, my mouth dropping open.

  “Turtle doves…” Blaze peered up at the trees behind me.

  There were hundreds, if not thousands, of chipmunks covering the branches of the trees, staring down at us. They were cute and fluffy with big chubby cheeks.